READER REPORT:

The Citizen Kane of bad movies

JASPER LAU
Last updated 05:00 20/07/2013
the room
JUST AWFUL: The Room is so bad it's good.

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You've just gotta go see this...

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I recently came across The Room while reading a thought piece on what possibly could be the worst movie ever made.

Needless to say if you're not a fan of wooden acting or a rubbish script that even an 8-year-old could write better, then The Room is not a movie you want to waste any more time on. Otherwise it can be hailed as one of the most unintentional hilarious films ever made because it is just so goddamn awful. Every aspect of the film is painstakingly bad, and I mean every aspect.

The Room is a movie written, directed, produced and stars the one and only Tommy Wiseau as "Johnny".

Its barest plot line revolves around Johnny's love for Lisa (Juliette Danielle) who happens to be cheating on him with Johnny's best friend, Mark (Greg Sestero) who happens to feel uncomfortable with it but screws her anyway throughout the film.

The rest of the film comprises of endless subplots that has no relevance to anything, whereupon references that deem to have significance are carefully brushed aside by Wiseau's auteurship.

For instance, in one scene we have Lisa's mum declaring that she has breast cancer but this rather important point is never explored again in the film. Other plotlines include the successive soft porn sex scenes which makes Kim Kardashian's sex tape look like a masterpiece.

I counted at least four sex scenes in the film where different characters all had sex in Johnny's house whilst power ballads blasted away in the background.

Other plot lines include countless football scenes where a football is thrown around for no reason at all, a drug deal that wasn't a drug deal, characters that suddenly trip up and a kid named Denny (Phillip Haldiman) who professes his love for Lisa with a creepy smile that makes the Joker seem normal and occasionally watches them have sex. Oh, and in case you were still wondering what the plot was, well there isn't a plot.

Undoubtedly the star of the show remains in the hands of Tommy Wiseau. His long black hair, zombie girl face and some accent that no one has heard of before and probably will never ever will again, holds the film in high esteem.

Whilst the other actors are just utter rubbish, it is Wiseau's strange yet hypnotic stage presence that captures the last morsel of logic you might still hold while watching this film.

For a film that was reportedly budgeted about $6 million dollars, it was $6 million dollars too much. There are countless establishing shots of San Francisco in case the viewer hasn't realised by the 90th minute where the film is set, and pretty much the whole film is shot in Johnny's house where characters would go in, speak a line or two and then leave. Instead of photos of people, Wiseau has them replaced with spoons throughout masterful mise en scene and night time would have heaps of light because we might not be able to tell day apart from night in Wiseau's mind.

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As ridiculous as it sounds, the film gets worse which arguably makes it even better. The latter part of the film has even more stupid scenes like where they wear tuxedos for no apparent reason and start throwing a football around. More lines of genius are spoken such as: "Leave your stupid comments in your pocket." and "I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off". 

Since its release in 2003 and limited theatrical run in the States, The Room has garnished a reputation as a cult film as being one of the best worst movies ever made. In some perverse way, the film is amazing in rendering viewers to rolling on the floor with laughter and wasting approximately an hour and a half of their lives.

The bar is set so low with The Room that it should be taught in all film schools as anything done opposite to The Room would probably mean you're doing a good job. Needless to say, these 'actors' thankfully never acted in a feature length again and Wiseau has not made another masterpiece since.


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