MADONNA was so distraught after her divorce she considered suicide.
The queen of pop has admitted that after splitting with film director hubby Guy Ritchie last year she hit a real low.
And it was only her career, and her Sticky and Sweet world tour, that brought her back from the brink.
"It was certainly a challenging year," she admitted. "I may have thrown myself off a building.
"I think work saved me and I'm very grateful that I had work to do."
Since the split with her husband of eight years, Madonna's sons Rocco, nine, and four-year-old David have divided their time between the singer and their dad, something the mum-of-four has struggled to deal with.
She is based in New York where she is reported to be looking for a luxury apartment to buy for her toyboy lover Jesus Luz. British born ex Ritchie still lives in London.
"My sons aren't with me right now, they're with their father," Madonna told Rolling Stone magazine.
"I'm not very comfortable with the idea of my children not living together."
Madonna is also mum to first-born Lourdes and adopted daughter, four-year-old Mercy James, but it seems she hasn't ruled out the idea of more kids.
When the 51-year-old was asked by media if she'd like to be a mother again, she reportedly said: "Who knows? I have my hands full right now. But we never say never."
Madonna is proud of Lourdes, whose father is actor Carlos Leon, but thinks it's unlikely the 12-year-old will follow her into the music world.
"I don't think she wants to be a singer, I think she wants to be an actress," she said.
"I'm fine with it, as long as she finishes school, and takes it seriously.
"She also plays piano, and she's really into clothes and fashion and style."
Since splitting with her second husband, the star has thrown herself into her music.
She worked with Lil Wayne on her new song, Revolver, and teamed up with heartthrob Justin Timberlake for hit 4 Minutes.
"Justin is a brilliant songwriter," she said. "I thought it would be a challenge to work with him. He's sort of a Cary Grant. I love him, I love working with him."
But it seems not everyone is keen to collaborate with the Material Girl.
She revealed she was turned down by hip hop star Eminem.
"I wanted to work with him, but he didn't want to work with me," she said. "Maybe he's shy."
Despite having sold more than 200 million albums worldwide and being named the most successful female recording artist of all time by Guinness World Records, Madonna admitted she still struggles to recognise a hit when she makes one.
She is often surprised by which tracks achieve commercial success.
"I've never been a good judge of what things are going to be huge or not," she said.
"The songs that I think are the most retarded songs I've written, like Cherish and Sorry, end up being the biggest hits.
"Into the Groove is another song I feel retarded singing, but everybody seems to like it."
While Madonna has long had a risque image, she revealed she was once straight-laced. "I didn't really have my first drink until I got divorced the first time, from Sean Penn, when I was 30," she said. "I was kind of a geek in high school."
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