Bill and Ben on being blokes

WATER SPORTS: "1997 was so bad that the best looking girls on the planet were those chicks in Hansen who sang 'Mmmm Bop'," reckon Bill (dreadlocks) and Ben from Pulp Sport.

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Pulp Sport's Bill and Ben never drink and don't believe in sex before marriage - and they lie in surveys.

Bill and Ben, the stars of hit TV show Pulp Sport, think New Zealand men are far less "Manly" than they used to be.

"Back when Graham Lowe coached them in early 90s, we had Matthew Ridge and the Iro brothers in their starting lineup. Now there's only Steve Matai."

Bill and Ben, whose real names are Jamie Linehan and Ben Boyce, are both 29 and consider themselves to be average New Zealand males - "average height, average intelligence and average looks". They report in the Sunday Star-Times/Phoenix Research survey The State of Men that they never drink, have never been to the doctor and don't believe in sex before marriage. Alhough they admit that they have been known to lie when filling out questionnaires. "You should see our company tax returns!"

The pair think that being blokes in 2007 is much better than it was ten years ago. "1997 was so bad that the best looking girls on the planet were those chicks in Hansen who sang 'Mmmm Bop'. Whereas it was pretty sweet for the chicks - they had that crappy girly movie Titanic to watch and that crappy girly group the Spice Girls to listen to. But at least we still had a male prime minister in 1997. Sure, Jenny Shipley might have had a girl's name but he did us blokes proud."

They do think it's tough for men to meet the modern demands of being the household breadwinner. "Winning bread is bloody tough to do - pubs only seem to do meat raffles, radio stations give away CDs and in sports you can only win medals or cups. People just don't just give bread away - well, unless you're a duck." They do feel fortunate that they've never had to deal with depression.

"We do feel lucky to have never had depression. It's a serious problem in New Zealand and we're glad it's getting much more attention through those TV commercials by John Kirwan. Athough if he does suffer from depression, why is he now coaching Japan who are like the crappiest rugby team in the world?"

All in all, Bill and Ben think that men in general have come along way. "British comedian Jimmy Carr summed up the modern man best when he said that 'men these days aren't even afraid to buy tampons for chicks, but apparently they're not a proper present'."

Men can fill in the survey here.

- © Fairfax NZ News