OSCAR KIGHTLEY: Winning at all costs is a dirty business

Yes, we were supposed to win all those other world cups, but this was the one we were really supposed to win.

The country had done its 20-year penance for the land wars (or whatever it was we were being cursed for), we had the best players, everybody had read The Secret and we were all trying to attract the Rugby World Cup here with like thoughts of winning the Rugby World Cup.

The words of a small but perfectly formed black man from Australia once again echo in our thoughts... four more years...

So much for that bloody dirt.

As an example of how seriously we were taking this, the earth of rugby grounds around the country was being given away as a prize and no ever said: "Hang on, that's just dirt."

I actually cried watching that ad, I was so moved at the thought of this magically imbued dirt.

Why must the collective consciousness of the nation be so affected as thoughts turn to a real estate dip, a rise in domestic violence and a summer in which we contemplate how we don't have the Rugby World Cup, the Cricket World Cup, the America's Cup, the NRL trophy...

Before last weekend, the pain of losing all that other stuff was tempered by the fact that there was still the Rugby World Cup. Rugby's the only thing we don't expect to lose because we hardly ever lose at it.

The All Blacks have the best winning record in team sport with a winning percentage over 75%.

I doubt even great teams such as the Chicago Bulls, the New York Yankees, Manchester United, the Aussie cricketers or the Brazilian football team have a better winning record and it's a record that's been laid down over 100 years of competing.

Which is possibly why we can sometimes be the worst rugby supporters in the world.

Many of us don't actually support our team when we're watching them. We watch anxiously, giving ourselves cancer in the stomach until we can feel relieved at the end if we win.

But I'm not gonna diss my team because, even when they lose, they're still my team. We just need to grieve for a bit because we invested emotionally, over a long time, in this dream, and when it's taken away you need time to get over it too.

But like Steve Hansen said, if you think you're feeling bad, multiply it by 10,000. I bet that still won't be close to how bad the All Blacks team and management feel, even still. While we've all been dreaming it for the past four years, they've been the ones actively working towards it.

But getting over 1991, 95, 99 and 2003 was a drawn out enough experience of national mourning, and I feel a short, sharp wake-up call could be in order before universities overseas start researching how badly New Zealand takes losing at the Rugby World Cup.

I'm loathe to use the tragedy of others to help keep perspective, but us losing to France wasn't the biggest rugby tragedy in the northern hemisphere.

What happened when a young man died while on a First XV rugby trip in England recently that was a tragedy. What his family is continuing to go through, as our prayers go out to them, is a tragedy. That is a loss.

I normally hate it when people say this, but at the end of the day it's night, and this is still true our team just lost a game of rugby. Sure it was a very, very, very, very, very important one... but still.

- © Fairfax NZ News