Family strife after kids play alone

By LOIS WATSON - Sunday Star Times

A CHRISTCHURCH dad who let his nine-year-old son and four-year-old daughter play at a school park unsupervised is furious the government's child welfare agency is now investigating his family.

The case highlights the dilemma parents face in striking a balance between protecting their children and risk them becoming bubble-wrapped kids and giving them a taste of the freedom and independence parents themselves enjoyed as youngsters.

Christchurch dad George Kenton, who has raised four other children, believes it is important children are given early opportunities to take on responsibility and says he allowed his young son to take his younger sister to a nearby park only after he had proven himself capable of the task.

He was stunned and angry when his wife received a visit from Child, Youth and Family (CYF) social workers who were concerned about the children's safety and wellbeing when it was discovered they were playing alone at the Elmwood School park for up to an hour or two.

Kenton said he and his wife initially supervised nine-year-old Daniel at the park and only when they were confident he could handle himself did they allow him to go there alone to play with his neighbourhood friends. Once they were satisfied he could handle the responsibility, they allowed him to take his little sister along too.

"Our children are much loved, and very well cared for... Our decision to parent in a way that encourages our children to take on responsibility from an early stage in their development has stood my family in very good stead for some 25 years.

"Surely if our under-14-year-olds are to be consistently supervised we put at risk the ability for our children to grow and mature through exploration," Kenton told the Sunday Star-Times.

But CYF is unrepentant, saying it had a duty to investigate.

"Sometimes, children playing unsupervised for long periods of time can be an indication that there are wider family issues that need to be addressed," said CYF general manager Lorraine Williams.

In New Zealand, it is against the law to leave children under 14 alone without making reasonable provisions for their care and supervision. What is considered "reasonable" takes into account how long the children are alone for and why.

"Parents may allow their children to stay at home alone after school or play unsupervised in their community for a short period of time, but there are still risks to this like an accident or emergency or unwanted attention from strangers. These risks escalate the longer the children are left alone for," Williams said.

Barnardos communications manager Peter Gerrie sympathised with Kenton's plight but said the law was there for their own safety. "We all pine for all the old days when it was totally safe to let your kids play at the park alone, but those days have gone."

Earlier this year American mother Lenore Skenazy, a columnist for the New York Sun, provoked a wave of criticism after she allowed her nine-year-old son to take the subway alone to their Manhattan home to get a taste of the independence her generation grew up with.

"Long story short: My son got home, ecstatic with independence," Skenazy wrote in the New York Sun. "Long story longer: half the people I've told this episode to now want to turn me in for child abuse.

"As if keeping kids under lock and key and helmet and cellphone and nanny and surveillance is the right way to rear kids. It's not. It's debilitating for us and for them."

Skenazy has since started her own blog Free Range Kids which she says is dedicated to sane parenting.

Safe Kids New Zealand director Ann Weaver agrees children do need to be given some freedom but believes adult supervision is required until they develop the skills and confidence needed to handle the unexpected, such as a fall, on their own.

Williams said most parents, when made aware by CYF of the risks, were able to make more suitable arrangements.

In those cases, there was no need for ongoing CYF involvement with the family. In serious cases, it was the police who determined if a criminal offence had occurred.