Unreported

A light-hearted look at the week

Last updated 07:44 23/11/2012
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A tradesman's life is not all peaches and cream

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Plumb job wasn't

Hardly a day goes by when the understaffed team at Unreported don't wish they had trained in a trade rather than touch-typing. But a tradesman's life is not all peaches and cream, especially for the New Plymouth plumber known as the city's oldest teenager. The 60-something teen recently sent his son on a job to replace a household toilet cistern and kitchen tap. "There will be a key under the mat," he was told. No problem, until the son got into the house and the cistern and the tap both appeared to be fine. "But they want them replaced," his father said. And so it was done. From there it gets a bit confusing, the only certainty being that more than one house had a key under the mat that day.

Food fit for royalty

In other muckups we turn to Princess Zara Phillips. The royal wife of former English rugby player Mike Tindall is alleged to have been in Taranaki a couple of weeks ago. The muckup is that no one told Unreported until it was too late. Apparently the Olympic- horse-rider princess was in town to check out some horses trained by Oakura's Heelan Tompkins. Some say she followed that up with a seafood basket at the Butler's Reef pub. Good work Zara. We're glad to know even blue-bloods love the deep fry.

Likely lads add life

One thing Unreported loves are super-inflated egos. Get two of them and a ridiculous disagreement in a room and it's better than four fingers of whisky and a double episode of Coronation Street. Importantly, they often spice up usually dull things like local body politics. In that respect we hope a couple of likely lads who are already making waves carry on to make it on to the New Plymouth District Council next year. The jury is out on whether it will be good for the district but our scribes have their fingers crossed.

Crushing remarks

To finish off, Unreported would like to congratulate Judge Allan Roberts for comparing the behaviour of Hawera boy-racer Brendon Patrick Crawford to that of a muppet and a numbskull. We expect he already knows, but just in case he is in danger or repeating himself in future boy- racer cases may we suggest he could also employ such words as "moron", "idiot", "pathological halfwit", "cretin" and our favourite, "dunderhead".

@CateOwen: Breaking news: Ronan Keating and Brian McFadden are coming to NZ for one Auckland show; 40-year-old women rush to buy underpants to throw.

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- Taranaki Daily News

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