Unreported

A light-hearted look at the week

Last updated 08:00 14/12/2012
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Ross Dunlop became flushed with a passion to save the loo.

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More like barking rats

Unreported likes to think of itself as a small but brave protector of truth and justice. Which is why we take particular exception to a New Plymouth police senior constable forcing these two New Plymouth buskers from their Centre City possie because they sounded like "screeching cats". Toni, this is simply not on. We had listened to the fellas just minutes before and thought if anything they sounded more like barking rats. At the very least, tortured puppies.

CD for your photo

Talking of music and getting on to Christmas, Unreported has its first-ever music giveaway. For a reason we can't explain we have some Womad 2011 and 2012 and Kora CDs to give to people. Because we can't just give them away they will go to the first 12 people to email us photos of themselves in their favourite Christmas outfit. And by outfit we don't mean the jersey your mum knitted for you in 1986. We're not telling you our email address but if you can't figure it out then you don't deserve free music anyway.

Passion to save loo

If you think that is harsh, spare a thought for hard-working South Taranaki mayor Ross Dunlop. At a recent council meeting the contentious issue of the demolition of Hawera's water tower toilets came up. For some reason it's a matter close to the mayor's heart and he instantly became flushed with a passion to save the loo, promising to stand in front of it should the wrecking ball threaten. One councillor wondered if they should pass a motion committing the mayor to such an action. Unreported can tell you the suggestion was largely panned.

Crime against taste

Another thing that should be panned is the gratuitous use of Christmas themed headwear in the leadup to the big day. The small team here at Unreported know violence never solves anything but the next person we see wearing a Santa hat who isn't either driving a sleigh or handing out presents should be prepared to take a kick to the shins. We also have a special punishment for anyone sporting reindeer antlers, bell earrings or anything involving flashing lights. It will be equal to their crimes against good taste.

Tweet of the week

@PeterDunnesHair: The delay in Collins releasing the Binnie report was actually caused by her copy having burn mark from her hair curlers.

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Email: Unreported@dailynews.co.nz

- Taranaki Daily News

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