End is nigh, so here goes ...
With December 21 upon us, and therefore the end of the world, I feel that the hour has finally arrived to point out a few things without fear of retribution.
1. There is a small billboard outside St Andrews church that states ''Evolution? How come we still have apes?'' I would suggest that the mind behind this statement may like to read Darwin's On the Origin of Species, not only to enlighten themselves to proven scientific facts, but also to broaden their minds to other possibilities and beliefs outside of their own.
2. The proposed Len Lye Centre. Contrary to popular belief there are some outside of the NPDC who think that this is a good idea, not just for the display of Lye's work but also because, with the end of the world occurring before building work even starts, does it really matter any more?
3. Pushchairs. Drivers of push-chairs should have to pass a test of some sort before being allowed in confined spaces with other non-pushchair users.
4. My front lawn. As the owner of two dogs which I walk twice a day, I always seem capable of having a pocket full of plastic bags and the ability to use them to pick up what my dogs no longer require. Why is it that some other people do not have access to plastic bags and always leave me at least three or four pleasant ''surprises'' when it comes time to mow my lawns?
Still, the solution to all of these issues will no doubt be delivered today, probably in the form of fiery death from above, so I have no doubt that after today I'll feel a lot better about everything.