Worst Christmas presents go on TradeMe

IAN STEWARD
Last updated 12:16 25/12/2013
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A Wooly Mammoth coat, perfumed body cream, a magnetic underlay and Valerie Adams' biography were some of the first unwanted Christmas gifts to hit TradeMe this morning.

While a modern Christmas morning still involves opening presents, modern Christmas mid-morning now involves listing the stuff you don't want on auction sites.

Searching the latest listings for "unwanted gifts" today brings up books (The New Complete Portugese Water Dog, Valerie - the Autobiography ), a non-stick fry pan, a Casio G-shock watch, a 42-piece cutlery set, and that perennial Christmas favourite - a box of scorched almonds.

Also Christmas-themed is a whole smoked and cooked ham, given by the seller's company and available to be picked up in the Auckland CBD today.

And spare a thought for Rotorua vendor "noelsbreeze" who listed his auction under the heading "Worst Christmas Present Ever?" 

He got a sampler box of biscuits that went off five months ago.

Noel said he had been abstaining from biscuits for a year for health reasons but he decided to have one after receiving the box in return for an "unsolicited act of kindness to a stranger".

Unfortunately, when he opened the box he found only stale, broken and melted biscuits - and then he noticed the use-by date: June 4, 2013.

Noel listed the Christmas treats with a 50c reserve suggesting they could be used as bird food, as a door stop, or as a way to get rid of unwelcome Christmas visitors.

The auction includes the half shortbread he bit but put back.

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