Unreported

19:37, Jun 28 2012
tdn un stand
Dog proof sausage.

Name's still OK

First we lost one-and-a-half of our famous Three Sisters at Tongaporutu and now Waverley's Cave Beach is without a cave. Unreported is not only shocked by this, we are horrified. If such erosion carries on it won't be long before we are clinging to the slopes of Mt Taranaki with the sea lapping at our ankles. Unreported believes the best way to deal with this is the same way we deal with any impending doom scenarios. Retain the old names, pretend nothing has changed and hope that it won't. Besides, Cave Beach by any other name would hardly be as sweet.

Butcher's mind a worry

As purveyors of meat, butchers aren't usually renowned for their sweet products, being more inclined to the savoury or in some cases unsavoury. At least that was the experience of one young reporter when talking to a New Plymouth city butcher renowned for his tasty sausages. However, it seems not renowned enough because the said butcher spun an incredibly detailed and obviously well thought out yarn about opening a sex shop next to his sausage shop, presumably to boost his income. Of course the story was a load of hogwash, but from the way he told it the reporter could only believe he wanted it to be true.

It pays to advertise

Continuing with meat, regular readers of Unreported will know our incredibly small team here had a most frightful and harrowing faux chicken schnitzel experience at Countdown last week. Luckily someone understood our pain and emailed in with the answer. Sure, Beate Smirek's advice to buy our meat at the New Plymouth Farmer's Market on Sunday was a shameless plug for what we can only assume is his or her stall, but as much as anyone Unreported knows it's the thought that counts. Thanks Beate. We're gonna try your meat.

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Just for the photograph

And as everyone knows you never get anything unless you try. Which is exactly what a photographer for another publication did at a recent house fire in Inglewood. Not happy with the composition of her shots she asked a fireman to move to the left and stand still while she got the perfect picture. Although Unreported cannot read fireman's minds from what we saw of the man's expression, we believe "what the hell" would be a good guess.

Tweet of the week

@dub–projay: That moment when someone is picking their nose and they try to play it off by scratching.

Email: Unreported@dailynews.co.nz.

Twitter: @Unreportable.

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