04:36, Aug 10 2012

Cheap lamb, happy land

For years now the small team of Unreported have blamed much of New Zealand's problems on the price of lamb. Back in the days when every man and his dog could get lamb for cheap, crime rates were low, houses were affordable and every cloud had a resident harp-plucking cherub. Which is why we were literally foaming at the mouth at news that the good stuff is down to $10 a kilo in some places. Happy days are here again, chaps, so stop whatever you're doing and grab the mint sauce.

Men behaving badly

While we are talking of things that will soon pass into history, we may as well relate a suggestion we received in the wake of news that a funeral chapel and childcare centre had trumped the Men's Shed for the abandoned Waiwaka Bowling Club land in New Plymouth. "Get the old buggers to build the caskets and the kids' toys", the caller said. "That will stop them moaning at least." Sounds like a perfect plan to us. Maybe it's a bit rough around the edges but it will do.

Bliss is beating Aussies

Happiness never lasts and for that fact we are grateful - otherwise we would never know when we were happy anyway. But sometimes there is no need to doubt your feelings. One of those occasions came along earlier this week, when we were beating the Aussies on the Olympic medal table. Some said it felt like heaven. Others said it felt like when they first fell in love. Sure, we all knew it wasn't going to last, but it was good while it did and we will always have the memory.


Keen to be caught

Some people are rougher than others and that's why we have the police. Their job is to keep us safe and secure and we appreciate them immensely for their services. Unfortunately not all of them love us media types, with some local officers even going so far as refusing to identify themselves for fear that they will feature on the good pages of the Taranaki Daily News. The problem is this: they have to shout morning tea if they end up here. However, after eight weeks away in the United States, we reckon that's just what Waitara Constable Rob Keen should be doing anyway. Love your work Rob, especially now we know your name.

@McStephy: "I hate the word homophobia. It isn't a phobia. You aren't scared. You are an a&*hole." - Dunno who said that, but I like it.

Email: Unreported@dailynews.co.nz

Taranaki Daily News