There's just no excuse
It was with mild disgust that Unreported read an article in a Sunday magazine in which New Plymouth had once again been confused with Palmerston North. This is particularly insulting for a number of reasons but the most offensive one has to do with levels of existence. It is well known most people in New Zealand aren't even aware New Plymouth exists, and frankly we are happy with that situation. Palmerston North is a different kettle of fish. Most people know the flat and featureless city exists, they just can't understand why.
Way to go Snowrad
There is no mystery as to why former Francis Douglas College student and holidaying All Black Conrad Smith is marrying his girlfriend and former New Plymouth Girls' High girl Leeanne Snowdon this weekend. It's called love. Their union pretty much makes them the fifth most famous former-Taranaki power couple that ever was. They therefore deserve their own name mashup viz-a-viz Tomkat and Brangelina. Unreported suggests Snowrad, but acknowledges it probably won't catch on.
Posties feel the bite
Moving to other things likely to be unpopular we now turn to NZ Post's mail service and the news they will reduce urban deliveries to three days a week from July 2015. This is still 20 months away, which in technology time is the equivalent of 200 years. Unreported wants to be the first to suggest that by this time there won't even be enough snail mail to justify three day a week delivery. Our question is this: will dogs now attack innocent civilians?
Close-up and personal
Sticking with technology we move to newbie New Plymouth District councillor and possibly fulltime Facebook user Murray Chong. In what may become a regular column that we might call Ding Dong, There Goes Chong we note in the past few days he has admitted online to listening to police over a radio scanner, suggested traffic light windscreen washers be registered with council, that they spend their earnings on a belt and that he's glad fluoride was taken out of the city's water. And that's only half of it. Unfortunately, on attempting to read the other half we fell asleep.
Tweet of the week
@di_f_w: whenever I eat strawberries I think about how someone once described them to me as nature's lollies & how this is the most honest of truths.
Email: Unreported@dailynews.co.nz Twitter: @unreportable
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