Unreported

Last updated 07:47 28/03/2014
Kim Dotcom
Fairfax NZ
KIM DOTCOM: The Internet Party will go on a membership drive after its launch.

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Making a mark

Everyone knows time travel has yet to be achieved but we'd still like to take you back to last Friday when Deputy Prime Minister and National big kahuna Bill English paid a visit to the Taranaki Daily News. Now we often get a bit nervous when bigwigs come to town, fearing they will think us country bumpkins or, worse, village idiots, so thank goodness then that when Bill arrived a reporter and a local man were standing in the foyer keenly and quite seriously studying pictures of the grease mark a kereru left when it flew into the man's lounge window that morning. "Well that's the front page sorted," said Bill.

Acronyms warning

Well not quite but Unreported could tell that's what he was thinking. To change tack completely and talk of things where people obviously weren't thinking we turn to the Taranaki COC, aka, Chamber of Commerce. The serious and venerable business body recently launched two other organisations; the Business and Retail Association, or BRA, and the Network of Business, or NOB. Now the small team knows all these acronyms are harmless in isolation but we really do have to point out combining them in any way is strictly for adults. You have been warned.

Just the right lean

Turning to cakes we would like to congratulate the bakers of a cake made to celebrate the 100th birthday of Hawera's cherished Water Tower. Quite how they got it to develop a lean just like the original did, we will never know. But that wasn't where the similarities between the built and the baked ended. Requests by this paper to move the cake to a better position for a photograph were turned down for fear any movement at the base would bring the whole thing tumbling down. Apparently the reinforcing necessary to safely undertake the move would have bankrupted the bakers and we heard, off the record of course, the cake wasn't so great that it warranted such "earthquake" proofing measures anyway.

Connecting the dots

Before leaving we would like to make a big shout out to Jim Tucker for his role as some sort of adviser to that Auckland big noter Sausage Fingers Schmitz, aka Kim Dotcom. Thanks Jim for making a Taranaki connection with this dubiously entertaining helping of sauerkraut. Unreported says this because we appreciate everyone who swims against the tide and so to all those who say Dotcom is a trumped-up twit cynically manipulating New Zealanders and making a fool of their media for his own personal gain, we say "what would you know?" Right Jim?

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@RyanSproull: With no fluoride in the water to brainwash them into obedience, Hamiltonians thought for themselves and demanded a return to fluoride.

Email: Unreported@dailynews.co.nz. Twitter: @Unreportable.

- Taranaki Daily News

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