Unreported

Last updated 07:52 11/04/2014

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The secret garden

It is with great delight we heard of the Taranaki Regional Council's plan to spend millions on upgrading Pukeiti Gardens. They truly are a decent bit of greenery and offer more picnic spot opportunities per square metre than any other place we can think of at this moment. Far be it from us to tell the council how to spend its money but may we suggest better direction signage so reporters visiting such gardens for such announcements don't become hopelessly lost while trying to get back to the office for deadline. Failing that, at least put certain TRC councillors through an etiquette lesson to teach the old buggers pointing and laughing at such predicaments is so last century.

Lighter shade of pale

While we are on the subject of things to do with old and politics we turn to New Plymouth District councillor Grant Coward. After a relatively quiet settling-in period the ex-copper is proving to be a bit of a force around the council table, which we thought might happen. What we aren't so sure of is whether The Silver Fox, as he is sometimes known, has recently dyed his lady-killing locks a shade of blonde. Because, and we admit this could be a lighting issue, it certainly looks that way to those who make it their job to notice.

Smokers in dungeons

To other things people perhaps didn't want to happen, we ask Coward's council where their smoker's balcony has gone. It only seems like yesterday that council smokers were forced to stand under the Leach St overpass when they wanted a puff. It was a bit like a dungeon but, seeing as smoking these days seems right up there with serial puppy killing, no one complained much. Only now it is suddenly gone. Which leads us to believe council has taken its smoking policy to its intended end by constructing a real dungeon and throwing its smokers in there. Until corrected and because we live in a freedom loving society, that's what we're believing.

We made it rain

And that's not the only thing we are going to continue thinking is true. Six days ago you may have noticed the Taranaki Daily News did the one thing that would ensure an end to the autumn dry patch that is causing so much distress to our lawns and lettuce plants: we ran a front page feature on how the autumn dry patch was causing so much distress to our lawns and lettuce plants. Now, we're a modest bunch, so we aren't going to take all the credit for the rain, but we can't shy away from the fact we do pretty much deserve it.

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@WinstonPeters: Our advice to the Government - buy a new ferry and sack Gerry.

Email: Unreported@dailynews.co.nz. Twitter: @Unreportable

- Taranaki Daily News

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