Attraction of the older man

MODERN MAIDEN
Last updated 05:00 12/01/2013
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Open any woman's magazine to see men dating girls who look young enough to be their daughters.
Opinion poll

Would you consider a romance or relationship with a person much older than yourself?

Been there, done that.

Yes, I could be keen.

No, would rather stay closer to my own age.

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OPINION: Throughout history women have dated, married and bumped uglies with men who are older than them.
On New Year's Eve Hugh Hefner married 26-year-old Crystal Harris. The Playboy centrefold model is 60 years his junior. He was old enough to be her grandfather, or even her great-grandfather, when his new blonde bride was born.


Although this 60-year age difference is an extreme example of age disparities in a relationship, you only have to open any woman's magazine to see men dating girls who look young enough to be their daughters.
To many the men may seem to be cradle-snatchers and the women deemed trophy wives, but Catherine Zeta-Jones has her Michael Douglas, Mary-Kate Olsen has Olivier Sarkozy and Rachel Hunter even had Rod Stewart.


These women are among the masses who believe young girls are wasted on young men.


I must say I understand the allure of an older and wiser partner; in fact I have had two. I have chased and seduced a man 20 years my senior and I was once hunted by a female cougar.


There is nothing like an overwhelming attraction to make one disregard the 'Half your age, plus seven' rule. Which, for those of you who don't know, half your age, plus seven is the youngest you are meant to date.
There seems to be a general consensus among the fairer species that men and women develop at different rates and therefore an older gentleman meets the maturity level of a younger maiden, and thus is more desirable to spend time with.


The youthful beauties also hope that an older man won't be sitting on his backside playing video games until 3am, like most of the boys they know.


Whatever the reason, there is a definite desire for a love affair with an age gap.


In fact there is a name for a relationship that involves a younger and a significantly older partner.
The powers to be have dubbed the social norm a, ''May, December romance'', hinting at the fact the younger partner is in the spring of her life while the one with salt and pepper hair is reaching the winter of his innings.
Both of my relationships with older people were wonderful. I was in my mid-twenties at the time, and it was only natural that my crushes on Alan Rickman and Kate Winslet would spark my interest in people who were older, more refined and tantalisingly more experienced.


The change from a partner whose idea of a date was me watching him play video games to seeing a male, and later a female, who wanted to go out for dinner and muse on life, almost made me fall in
love instantly.

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In truth, I have found older people treat you better. Perhaps that is because they had social graces installed in them as children, when the world still believed in manners and etiquette.


Older men, in particular, can not only be quite charming, but they also do not see you as an extension of their right to be cared for by a woman, like so many boys just out of home do.


With a silver fox you are treated with respect, the dates are lovely, and let's face it; sex with someone who knows what they are doing is always going to be a lot better.


If I had my way every girl in her twenties would go on a date with an older man, even if it was just for a benchmark by which to measure the way other people treat her.


However, when older men start dating 16 and 17-year-old girls, that's when the masses have every right to voice an opinion.


Let's be blunt. Those girls are still children and you may like the idea of having sex with them, but society doesn't like it.


In New Zealand the age of majority is 20, which means people under that age are still considered to be children.


These young kittens may look like adults, but they are not. Yes, they are legally allowed to have sex, but they are children who are only just beginning to learn about themselves, their emotions and their
bodies.


The journey to sexual awakening should be taken with two people who are learning about sex together, not a young person being led by somebody who has already been down that road.


The first few years of a woman's sex life will stay with her forever. She deserves to be able to feel shy and to have sex with someone else who is also scared. It is not OK  for her sexual awakening, and all of the emotions that come with it, to involve someone who may be double her age.
If you still want her when she's no longer a teenager then take her out for a nic

e meal and a wine, rather than getting down and dirty with a child and thanking her with a raspberry lemonade.
Women in their twenties can date older men, but when it comes to young 16 and 17-year-old girls, even the thought of them being with someone nearly double their age is disturbing.


Show some class and some respect, because after all, aren't those meant to be two of the alluring things about dating an older man?

- Taranaki

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