OPINION: A couple of weeks after having my knee op, I tripped on part of the trailer while in the garden.
It hurt like hell and the swelling started to come up immediately. I sat down, winced and held on to it for about 30 seconds until the pain went away.
I'm a 55-year-old bloke with a low pain threshold.
Emerson is a 34-year-old professional footballer who plays in Brazil for Corinthians. He's seen it tough. "Pressure is sleeping afraid of stray bullets hitting your face, your chest, that's pressure," he said earlier this year.
He got a little tap on the shin this week during the Club World Cup final against Chelsea after an incident with Gary Cahill.
He responded with half a dozen slow-motion death rolls. He did them because he wasn't hurt at all, he just wanted to get Cahill sent off. He was banking on the referee or a linesman being gullible and incompetent.
He was right first time. A linesman flagged and Cahill was shown a straight red.
Cahill said the knock he gave Emerson would not have hurt his one-year-old daughter.
It's prudent to point out that in professional wrestling they get referees to play dumb and miss things, because it helps with the show. At least those referees know they are meant to look stupid.
The weekend incident involving Ryan Shawcross and Marouane Fellaini has centred on the Everton man's headbutt on the Stoke defender. So it should and manager David Moyes has gone up a number of notches in my book for condemning his own player.
But what Fellaini, who has been banned for three matches, was annoyed about was the fact Shawcross had both arms around him, preventing him from moving.
Again, referees are simply not bright enough or not willing enough to stamp that out of the game.
On a similar theme of dishing out punishment, Liverpool youngster Suso engaged in some banter with a team-mate who posted a picture of himself getting his team whitened.
Suso joked of Jose Enrique: "this guy is gay . . . he does everything except play football." He was obviously told the tweet was inappropriate, removed it and apologised. But that wasn't good enough for the FA who fined him £10,000 ($19,400).
Eighteen of the 20 Premier League clubs have backed imposing cost controls. Manchester City and Fulham were the odd two out. City (£197 million) and Liverpool (£49.4m) were the biggest financial losers last season but there were profits for the other giants - Manchester United, Chelsea (just), Arsenal and Spurs.
Former Stevenage midfielder Mitchell Cole, who packed up football at the start of the year because of a heart scare, died suddenly, aged 27, at the start of the month. Cole was the brother-in-law of Liverpool's Joe Cole.
Zimbabwe's most famous footballer, Peter Ndlovu, was seriously injured and his older brother Adam killed in a car crash near Victoria Falls while driving to a game this week. Peter Ndlovu spent 13 years in England, notably playing for Coventry. His brother, also an international, played in Switzerland.
Bristol Rovers have sacked manager Mark McGhee . . . Millwall have offered £1m-plus for All White Chris Wood but say West Brom are playing games . . . Sergio Aguero is unhappy at Manchester City, apparently.
The home Darlington built just nine years ago is being bought for £2m by a rugby club. Darlington were dumped four divisions down to the ninth tier of English football for this season by the Football Association.
West Ham have been linked with Argentina-based defender Lisandro Lopez, who holds an EU passport . . . Villa boss Paul Lambert says he will not sell striker Christian Benteke in January.
England, Liverpool v Fulham, Man City v Reading, Newcastle v QPR, Southampton v Sunderland, Spurs v Stoke, West Brom v Norwich, West Ham v Everton, Wigan v Arsenal, Sunday, Chelsea v Aston Villa, Swansea v Man Utd. Boxing Day, Aston Villa v Spurs, Everton v Wigan, Fulham v Southampton, Man Utd v Newcastle, Norwich v Chelsea, QPR v West Brom, Reading v Swansea, Sunderland v Man City, Stoke v Liverpool.
Scotland Friday, St Mirren v Motherwell. Saturday, Aberdeen v St Johnstone, Celtic v Ross County, Inverness v Dundee. Sunday, Kilmarnock v Hibernian, Hearts v Dundee United. Boxing Day, Dundee Utd v St Johnstone, Hibernian v Ross County, Inverness v St Mirren, Kilmarnock v Hearts, Motherwell v Aberdeen, Dundee v Celtic.
- Taranaki Daily News
Is this the best summer ever?Related story: Wellington sizzles in January heat