Online dating success stories

The Press

Victoria, 33, of Christchurch, said there was a kind of switch that went off about five years ago which prompted a lot of life changes. As well as switching professions and buying a house, she decided to make a concerted effort to meet Mr Right.

"Internet dating was quite a good way of meeting fellas because they weren't available anywhere else."

The process wasn't immediate. "I met quite a lot of interesting guys and it helped me decide what I did and didn't want (from a relationship)."

She got stood up once, "which wasn't very nice", but overall she found internet dating a positive experience.

As far as safety issues went, she told friends where she was going. "I didn't meet anybody I thought was really weird they were fairly nice guys but I was careful to meet in a public place and tell people where I was going," says the bubbly blonde.

"I never put myself in any danger and the guys were normal to a certain degree. They just didn't suit me."

That is until Chris, 32, came along. "Then I got this really nice email from a guy who looked normal. There wasn't any weirdness and we liked talking about the same sort of things."

They met for coffee in August 2005, began seeing each other and the rest is history. Chris asked Victoria to marry him in February 2007 and they married at Riccarton House in April.

"I think you can find somebody if you're careful and do it right, but I do worry about young girls who get themselves into tricky situations and perhaps aren't old enough or wise enough to get themselves out of it."

Victoria also believes about 60 per cent of the men who have dating profiles online are married or already in a relationship. "You can tell. They aren't online in the evenings, they don't want to meet anywhere public and that sort of thing."

Wellingtonian Cathy, 37, did a bit of internet dating on and off for a couple of years before she finally met the love of her life, Liam, 46. "I wasn't really into going to pubs and clubs, and none of my friends had any eligible single guys for me. I had a few workmates at the time who were having a go on the internet, and I thought, what have I got to lose?"

Cathy took a proactive approach. "If I thought they sounded interesting, I sent them a `Hi' message, and something most women don't seem to do I was keen to meet them quite quickly.

"I wasn't into the whole chatting-online-forever, because my theory was, worst case scenario, we meet and don't hit it off, I still have an OK sort of date, get to meet someone new, have a nice meal and nice conversation."

She found online chat often built up unrealistic expectations. "I don't believe there's any way the virtual world can really represent who someone really is."

Cathy didn't have any really horrible dating experiences. "No-one turned up and went `Ew, yuck! How revolting!'," she laughs.

She says that may have been because she was always upfront about her looks. "Because I'm not a skinny person, I would always make that really clear. I didn't think there was any point in lying or misrepresenting myself."

It was different with Liam. She'd seen his profile on the website but didn't think he was the kind of person who'd be interested in her, so didn't contact him. "It was a nice photo but I thought it made him look really intellectual and really deep."

Instead, Liam messaged her online after seeing her profile. They messaged a few times online, then he texted her cellphone a few times and finally he rang her. "We finally met and clicked instantly.

I was really surprised because I'd never experienced that before.

"We just talked the whole night. We went to the Lido (restaurant) for dinner and they started packing up around us so we had to leave, then we went to Midnight Espresso (cafe) and spent ages there talking, so we were out for quite a few hours.

"Eventually, he dropped me home and didn't give me a kiss goodnight, but within a couple of days we met up again and had a picnic together which was really awesome."

That was more than three years ago and they've been together ever since. "We have always decided that our anniversary is the day we met."

Victoria and Cathy both used www.nzdating.co.nz

WHO WOULD YOU PICK?

Aliases
Handsome Stud, 48
I make up stuff and profiles online all the time. It's fun. I have two main profiles, one where I openly state I just want sex I get tons of hits but I don't follow up on it because I already have a partner. It's just a game.

On the other profile, I say I'm looking for four live-in partners a nurse, a chef, an accountant/lawyer and, basically, a bimbo. It's just a bit of a joke, but I get many responses from women more than you'd expect.

I think it's vital to have the right name on your profile. I mean, which would you pick Handsome Stud or Ugly Cripple?

Toilet shopping on first date
Penelope, 23
Internet dating bites. "Tall, handsome, happy-go-lucky'' equals "short, fat and unemployed''. "Bohemian actor'' equals "balding ginger tosser wearing a shark tooth on a leather strap who once took part in a play as a tree because he was so wooden''.

"Adventurous and sporty'' equals "rock-climbing gym-obsessed guy who wants you to look like a Barbie doll''.

Fleeing the scene of the crime
Vicki, 34
We met for the first time for dinner. I ordered a drink. He said: "You don't drink, do you?'' before going on to tell me that he only imbibed "nature's juice'' (water).

"Whatever,'' I said.

He said: "Women who drink give the impression that they're easy.''

"Whatever,'' I said again.

Online he seemed normal and fun. For some reason maybe I didn't get around to asking he had never disclosed his job. He was a banker who lectured drunkard rock-chick me for the entire evening on my pressing need for a fiscal-management plan.

He also clicked his fingers at the waitress and demanded more nature's juice.

When it came time to pay the bill, he said: "I'll just go to the little banker's room.''

The waitress said "Run run, now. I will make him pay''.

I did.

Virtual wingman
Ben, 36
I got into online dating because a friend was doing it and needed a virtual wingman.

I ended up meeting a girl from Singapore. We chatted for a few months and then I went over there to meet her and ended up living with her for three years.

It ended, but I would definitely go online to meet someone again.

"It's because I'm short, isn't it?"
Claire, 29
I don't believe in internet dating any more, I've had nothing but bad experiences. People lie about themselves. You get your hopes up and then you meet them and it's nothing but a disappointment.

My worst experience was with a man who said he was "tall, average looking but nice and kind''. We arranged to meet. Tall, average and nice was actually a smelly dwarf with an attitude problem.

When I realised he was the person I was meeting, I said: "Look, this isn't going to work''.

He said: "It's because I'm short, isn't it?'' But no, it wasn't.

It was the foul aroma coming off him in cartoon-like waves and that he lied about who he was.