Real life snail mail
This is an idea so silly you have to blog about it. 
RealSnailMail is the world's first email service that relies on real live snails to deliver messages. You write your message, it gets stored in the microchip of a snail as it passes by, then when the snail passes the chip reader the message gets sent.
It's still under development, but of the two active snails (Cecil and Austin), I'd pray your message gets to Austin. Cecil's average delivery time is 4.61 days.
Austin's is 1.96 days, but still.
Why? Some kind of art project to for Siggraph (computer animation-type conferencey thingy).
But still, why? Hey, don't ask me, I'm just blogging about it.
Thanks to Dave for sending it in.
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How do you train a snail to go where you want it? This sounds like a skill all organic gardeners would pay huge amounts of money to learn.