Let's point and laugh at the crazies fighting

BY JANE CLIFTON

OPINION: It's hard to think of a more dispiriting programme on television at present than TV2's Neighbours At War.

It makes even the mindless morons shown on TV3's Noise Control seem rational.

A parade of sadder, madder, unhealthier, more hateful and hate- filled people can scarcely be imagined. The question is, should this show exploit them the way it does?

One thing's for sure - this is not entertaining. It's just depressing.

It reached an all-time low, when, chronicling how a warring neighbour came to have her finger bitten off by her nemesis, it laid on the puns.

"She'll never play Beethoven on the piano again, but manicures will be 10 percent off!" wittered the narrator, as battling Beatrice held up the stump of her pinky finger. "Entry-level cannibalism!" he added gleefully.

Tasteful, or what? And the quips grew worse - too awful to repeat here.

Just in case you weren't already sick to your stomach, Beatrice the bitee said she refused to let surgeons reattach the finger because she was worried that Donna, the biter, had rabies, while Donna said the first thing she did - after the police made her find the finger and pack it in ice in her son's lunchbox - was to go to the doctor for a blood test in case she had caught something from Beatrice.

This dispute, started apparently by Donna's rudeness at Beatrice's hangi, had escalated to the point where surely the authorities should have intervened long ago. Donna, astonishingly, was given a suspended sentence for the biting, and says Beatrice has put it about that she is a White Power affiliate.

Bullying, animal cruelty, vandalism and lord knows what else have followed.

Now that Housing New Zealand is evicting Donna, things will hopefully settle down. But what is intended as entertainment - see how irrational and extreme neighbours can get - usually deteriorates into an exploitation of some seriously troubled people on this programme, all pumped along by the unfeasibly playful narration.

There may as well be a ticker-tape caption underneath saying, "Point and laugh at the funny mad people".

This week's case involved a woman who, while seeming rational and much put-upon, had been found at fault by the authorities, and clearly had some degree of what psychologists like to call "cognitive impairment".

It wouldn't have helped her one bit to see her grievances aired on TV.

Clearly at some point, some people find a perverse gratification in carrying on these feuds. It becomes part of their core personality.

Whether it's the aggression or the sense of persecution that's the addictive bit, it's hard to say. That would take a clinical diagnosis which these people are not likely to get until they do something truly appalling. Apparently biting off someone's finger is not appalling enough.

Another puzzling aspect is the incidence of gross obesity and poverty on this programme. So many of the battlers are seriously overweight, and clearly have little money. Is there a correlation?

The incidence of chained-up dogs with names like Sabbath is also a worry.

In barmy contrast is Undercover Boss, Tuesdays, TV One. The episode this reviewer sampled was a complete schmaltz fest. You would expect that a big-shot American chief executive, going undercover with his lowliest workers, would find a lot of dispiriting Struggle-Street stories, and be made to reflect on the low-wage, dead-end job existence of his staff.

But this is Disney World, where humble workers are so grateful to have jobs, and so cheerful to be paid a pittance, that they all go the extra mile and impress the hell out of their snooping boss. The boss is charmed, and humbled. How lucky he is to have such loyal, plucky workers.

A pay rise for the workforce isn't mentioned - don't be ridiculous - but various little rewards are dispensed to individuals each week. The typical pattern is that the singled-out workers get extra training or promotion, and some working conditions are changed according to intelligence the chief has gleaned while on the factory floor.

In the current American political climate, where the chief executive class has been unmasked as greedy and culpable for economic ruin, this programme is more of a provocation than the public relations exercise it seems to be intended as.

Even if the workers shown are hand-picked sweeties, to avoid the risk of ranting Marxist malcontents spoiling the ambience, they still vividly represent the quiet underlying desperation of the low-income worker.

Overwhelmingly grateful to be able to support their families, given their often poor backgrounds and lack of education, and mindful of the unemployment rate, they rally to make the best of often monotonous jobs, because that's how you get by.

The programme does celebrate their courage, but it's a backhanded celebration. Still, at least they're not sitting at home overeating and picking fights with the folk next door.

* What do you think? Post your comments below.

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