Murder most foul

It's murder, but not the way it used to be. David Killick investigates the new game of Cluedo.

The shiny black box arrived along with the morning mail. Only the bold white and red-typed message hinted at its mysterious contents.

"If you guessed it was Miss Scarlet, with the lead pipe in the conservatory . . ."

Unhesitatingly, I slashed the box open and lifted the lid to reveal the rest of the message: ". . . you would be wrong."

The reason for the erroneousness of the initial deduction quickly became apparent. Indeed, elementary. Contained within the glossy confines of the black box was an all-new version of Cluedo, the popular board game in which amateur sleuths pit their skills to solve a ghastly murder.

What looked like a celebrity magazine explained more.

"MURDERED," the headline screamed. "A party of the rich and famous goes horribly wrong when the host is found dead. The Millionaire Mogul is missing. Everyone knows it was foul play."

The media hounds were baying for an arrest. I needed answers, and I needed them fast.

I recalled an earlier case. It was eerily familiar. There was a large country house, a library, drawing room and conservatory, and a host of oddball characters including the portly Professor Plum and the aristocratic Colonel Mustard.

This new house was a gleaming celebrity mansion built for the nouveaux riches. Its opulent rooms numbered a spa, with a hot tub big enough for the entire dinner party, a 20-seat home theatre, a state-of-the- art entertainer's kitchen and an observatory.

The guest list read like a who's who of the entertainment world.

There was Kasandra Scarlet, described as "the hottest star on the movie scene", known for being "manipulative and charming". There were rumours of her shady past.

Then there was Jack Mustard, the former football star, with his "failing good looks" now going to seed. What might he do to renew his fame? Or how about the "sneaky" professional fix-it man, Jacob Green (who is actually black)?

Also attending the high-class celebrity bash were the "frustrated and jealous" former childhood actor, Diane White, and the geekish self- made video-game design billionaire, Victor Plum.

And presiding over the party like some diabolical spiderwoman was Eleanor Peacock, "powerful and coldhearted". Woe betide anyone who crossed her!

Who could have committed the dastardly deed? The iconic arsenal of weapons had also changed. Gone were the lead pipe (lead poisoning, after all, can be somewhat slow), revolver and wrench. New Cluedo weapons within the grasp of the perpetrator included an axe, dumbbell and trophy.

With this scenario, one fact stood out like a nun in a vice-ring round- up: Miss Scarlet couldn't have done it with the lead pipe in the conservatory. Because the lead pipe and the conservatory no longer existed!

It was going to be a tough case. But it could be cracked. The age-old motivations for murder most foul remained. And there were bound to be scattered clues.

It was going to be a long night.

Cluedo, from Parker Brothers, is on sale for $44.99.

- © Fairfax NZ News