Scathing Donald Trump poem wins New Zealand competition
A New Zealand poetry competition has been taken out by a Scottish poet poking fun at Donald Trump.
Lorna Wallace hopes the new American president gets to read her poem.
The piece – A Scot' s Lament fur her American Fellows (Oan their election of a tangerine gabshite walloper) – won the Robert Burns Poetry Competition organised by the Dunedin Public Libraries and The Dunedin Burns Club.
Written in Burns' style, the poem had been shared thousands of times online before Wallace entered it into the awards.
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Wallace's colourful descriptions of Trump include: "His mooth wis pursed up like an arse, His Tangoed coupon glowin' like a skelped backside."
Wallace, who lives in Kilmarnock Scotland, said she hoped Trump would read her poem.
"I haven't tweeted it to him personally but I know a few other people who have," she said.
"People in America have shared the poem on Twitter and have commented saying how frustrated and saddened they are that he's now the president."
Her win made headlines in Scotland, and she had Dunedin writer Lynley Hood to thank after she encouraged her to enter the awards.
The awards were presented in Dunedin on Wednesday night, and while Wallace could not make it, she hoped to visit New Zealand one day.
She wrote the poem pre-inauguration, but said she was already disgusted by the Trump presidency – "particularly by the perverted interest he seems to have in women's sexual health and choices".
"I hope every right-minded individual in America will keep up the fight and continue to protest against his ridiculous policies."
Judge Victor Rodger, a University of Otago Burns fellow, said two of the three section winners in the annual poetry competition were from overseas, with Wallace's poem a "standout".
"It had its finger on the pulse at where the world is at."
A Scot's Lament fur her American Fellows (Oan their election of a tangerine gabshite walloper
America, aw whit ye dain?!
How could ye choose a clueless wain
Ti lead yir country? Who wid trust
A man sae vile?!
A racist, sexist eedjit
Wi a shite hairstyle?
Yet lo, ye votit (michty me!)
Ti hawn' this walloper the key
Ti pow'r supreme, ti stert his hateful,
A cling ti hope that this is aw
Jist wan bad dream.
But naw, the nightmare has come true,
A curse upon rid, white an' blue,
An' those who cast oot Bernie
Must feel sitch regret
Fur thinkin' Mrs. Clinton
Was a safer bet.
So noo we wait ti see unfold
Division an' intolerance, cold;
A pois'nous bigotry untold
Since Hitler's rule
As the free world' s hopes an' dreams
Lie with this fool.
Alas, complainin' wullnae change
The fact this diddy has free range
Ti ride roughshod ow'r human beings
That fall outside
The cretinous ideals borne of
His ugly pride.
Awch USA, we feel yir woes
An' pour oor wee herts oot ti those
Who ken this oarange gabshite isnae
Who they chose,
But jist sit tight;
Will time expose.
Fur sittin' there beside Obama
Efter the election drama,
Trump looked like reality
Had finally hit:
Aboot the role of president
He knew Jack shit.
Poutin', glaikit through this farce,
His mooth wis pursed up like an arse,
His Tangoed coupon glowin' like
A skelped backside.
Despite all his bravado
Trump looked keen ti hide.
Let's therefur no despair an' greet,
Or see this outcome as defeat.
Let's wait an' watch this bampot
Flap his hawns an' squirm
When presidential pressures
Crush him like a worm.
Hawd oan ti values you hold dear,
Don't let this numpty bring yi fear,
His chants of hatred don't speak fur
The human race.
Love will endure despite this
So USA, in ma conclusion,
Know we Scots feel your confusion:
We are also chained ti those
Not of oor choosin' .
Stand firm fur unity will break
Through Trump's delusion.