"One stupid thought and I killed him. I loved him. Why did I do it?" said a distressed Lucille Sarah Scollay in the hours after she had stabbed her husband to death.
Constable Barbara Morse said Lucille Scollay, 45, was distressed and crying and on her hands and knees when she arrived at the Edgeware Rd scene at 3.10am - about 15 minutes after the stabbing of Guy Christian Scollay.
She said: "I killed him. Oh God. Oh God. I'm so sorry, Guy. What the f..k happened? I don't believe it."
Constable Morse said Lucille Scollay continued to be distressed and tearful and talked constantly in an interview room at the police station.
She said: "One stupid thought and I killed him. I loved him. Why did I do it. I don't know how I did it. It's wicked, just wicked.
"My poor son [Louis Scollay, then aged 19, who was at the house at the time]. How am I going to face anybody after this? It's just too heinous."
Lucille Scollay said she did not mean to kill her husband but just wanted things to change.
"I loved him but I could not help him. I just destroyed everything."
She also said: "I just felt trapped, helpless - that's not a defence, is it?"
Lucille Scollay admits stabbing her 48-year-old husband to death as he slept on February 10, 2013, but has pleaded not guilty to murder.
Her defence counsel, Rupert Glover, has told the trial in the High Court at Christchurch that Lucille Scollay accepted the only possible verdicts were guilty of murder or manslaughter.
The trial has been told that the couple had been married for 20 years but her husband had been debilitated with fear of outdoor spaces, apparent anxiety, and drug addiction for many years. He had barely gone out of the house and was on the methadone programme.
Lucille Scollay was also depressed, on medication, and had been on the methadone programme herself.
Constable Morse said Lucille Scollay talked about why the ambulance had not arrived sooner after the stabbing.
Detective Rachel Jefferies interviewed and later arrested Lucille for murder.
Lucille Scollay told her: "How can I have done that to him? He's not bad. We were just miserable. I can't believe I did that. What was I thinking?"
She added: "I didn't want to kill Guy. I miss him already."
Detective Jefferies recorded her saying: "God, Guy, please forgive me. We can't keep living like this. We are miserable. I love him. He's so damaged. We both are. I don't want him to die. I just want him to change."
Lucille Scollay told the police that she and her husband had never had a conversation about assisting him with suicide.
The jury was going to watch the DVD recording of the police interview with Lucille Scollay today.
HUSBAND 'WITHDRAWN AND DEPRESSED'
Guy Scollay's father, Christopher Scollay, said his son had done well at university and obtained an honours degree in history but then dropped out and became withdrawn and depressed.
Lucille Scollay's sister, Angela Mary Wilson, told in her statement about Guy Scollay becoming more and more reclusive as his mental health deteriorated.
He had never worked since he left university in his 30s.
Lucille Scollay had wanted him to get better so that they could both get on with their lives.
In her closing address, prosecutor Catherine Butchard said the only issue was whether the Crown had proved that Lucille Scollay - at the moment she stabbed her husband - intended to kill him or to cause him bodily injury that she knew was likely to kill him and was reckless about whether death would result.
The Crown said the injury was consistent with a determined effort to kill her husband, or with a reckless killing.
Defence counsel Rupert Glover said that Lucille Scollay had immediately taken responsibility, but that did not justify the Crown saying that she had formed a murderous intent or committed a reckless killing.
What was on trial was her state of mind. It was entirely proper for the jury to look at the whole background of the case.
Glover said the defence case was that Scollay was not guilty of murder, but she would accept a verdict of manslaughter.
There was nothing in the evidence that she was a premeditated murderer, he said.
She had not wanted to kill him, but had wanted him to take notice of her and to do something about the lives they were living.
Guy Scollay's mental condition had progressively deteriorated to the point where he was living a "non-life".
ALCOHOL IN WIFE'S BLOOD AT TIME OF STABBING
A forensic scientist for Environmental Science and Research (ESR), Wendy James, said she examined the Edgeware Rd house of the Scollays on the day of the murder.
Guy Scollay was lying on his back on the floor of a bedroom, with medical equipment about, and a black-handled knife on top of a stack of books on the floor. The body had an oval-shaped wound near the left nipple.
She described the pattern of blood stains in the bedroom. Extensive blood staining in the bed indicated that he had been stationary in the centre of the bed for a time after receiving his injury.
Possible blood staining was found by testing in the laundry and bathroom, and blood was found on the knife.
Another forensic toxicologist at ESR, Samantha Coward, said she analysed a blood sample from Lucille Scollay.
The sample taken at 7.30am on the day of the homicide showed a level of 93mg of alcohol to 100ml of blood.
Assuming a normal rate of "clearing" alcohol by her body, she estimated the level of alcohol at the time of the stabbing - about 2.55am - would have been between 138mg and 183mg. The legal driving limit is 80mg.
Forensic scientist Richard Wivell said DNA analysis showed extremely strong indications that the blood from the knife blade and on the washing machine in the laundry came from Guy Scollay.
Pathologist Dr Martin Sage carried out a post mortem which indicated Guy died of a single stab wound to the chest which penetrated 16cm and perforated the heart.
There were no signs of defensive wounds, nor any other injuries on the body. He had lost a critical amount of blood.
The defence read statements by two police witnesses to the jury.
Justice Mander will sum up tomorrow morning before the jury retires to consider its verdict.
- The Press
Which memorial design do you like most?Related story: Christchurch earthquake memorial designs unveiled