Eskimos - the most powerful of all lollies
Have you ever wondered who would come out tops if all the lollies in a 50cmixture got into a fight?
Clinkers? Snakes? The spearmint leaf?
No. The undefeated champion of the lolly bag would be the Eskimo because even though his arms and legs are fused together, he caused an international diplomatic incident and walked (well, obviously not walked because his legs are fused together) away unscathed.
Apologies. That's more than enough anthropomorphism of a lolly for one day. Let me explain.
In 2009, Canadian tourist Seeka Parsons discovered Pascall's New Zealand were making and selling lollies called Eskimos. She said the name aroused painful memories of childhood name- calling and that its shape was an unfair stereotype of her people. The correct term is Inuit.
Eskimo Pies came under fire also. Parsons told media she would send offending samples to the Canadian government and her grandfather, an Inuit elder. Soon New Zealand's Canadian High Commissioner came out saying there was an "element of red- neckery" in New Zealand. That's an international incident right there.
Its makers defended the confectionery saying it was only the second complaint they'd had about the lollies in more than five decades of production. Thank goodness because the Eskimo is an integral part of lolly cake and therefore our heritage and I don't think that's overstating the matter.
So, yes, the Eskimo might taste like sweet soap and have a butter-wouldn't- melt look on its face but it's got staying power . . . until I bite its little head off and dismember it bit by bit.