Best quotes of 2013

20:14, Dec 21 2013

The mainland is quotable. Here, in no particular order, The Press suggests some of the more memorable musings from 2013. Some are poignant, some silly but all say something about the state of our nation.


"She's just unfortunate I have a couple of years martial arts behind me."

This woman, who for obvious reasons wished to remain anonymous, admitted she hit a prostitute after finding one attending to business in her yard.

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"You have a minister who has the power of God, who is a human wrecking ball cutting a swathe through the centre of the city."


New Labour leader David Cunliffe mixes as many metaphors as he possibly can in his dramatic interpretation of Gerry Brownlee's destructive omniscience.

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"We don't get boy racers - the potholes are too big."

Bexley resident Brian Taylor on some of the positives in living in the empty red zone.

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"If there was a dickhead that night, it was me."

Former MP Aaron Gilmore reflects on how he got drunk and called a waiter a "Dickhead" at the Heritage Hotel in Hanmer Springs.

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"Wet dog", "fertiliser", "compost" and "vomity".

Christchurch Facebook users try their best to conjure their inner poet in describing a curious smell that descended on the city in October.

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"I should have died on that day and often wish that I had."

Daniel Rockhouse, the undisputed hero of the Pike River coalmine blast for saving a colleague's life, revealed his shattered life at one of the most emotional public hearings since the 2010 tragedy that killed his brother and 28 workmates.

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"Debra Sinclair found a 15cm slug on her kitchen floor, nicknamed it Bruce and fed it a potato chip before scooping it up and flushing it down the toilet."

A Press report on the creepy crawlies that were staking a claim in earthquake damaged houses. Suggested as the best sentence written all year.

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"One option is the Government says: 'Thanks very much, it's been a lot of fun. If you don't want to take the offer, that's where it's at'."

Prime Minister John Key eloquently sums up the Quake Outcast's case with typical joviality.

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"This is the least fun I've had in my life. I can't go to the supermarket, I can't play golf on Saturday, [or] go for a walk on the beach without someone accosting me."

Earthquake Commission customer service general manager Bruce Emson on being the face of EQC.

* * *

"We're staying, you bring the bulldozers."

Brooklands red-zoner Anne Dass on rejecting a government offer for her property.

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"They don't have to like each other; they don't have to go to dinner on a Friday night; they don't even have to share jokes. They have to get on with the business."

Former MP Jim Anderton suggests the relationship between Mayor Lianne Dalziel and Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee might not be as fun as everyone suspects.

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"I'm not bitter about it but it was a cock-up in my opinion."

Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee is open about his disappointment in being kicked off a New Zealand talent show by Ray Columbus.

The Press