No matter what, breaking up sucksANNA TURNER
Let's face it, no matter how many litres of ice-cream or Bridget Jones DVDs you have access to, breaking up with someone sucks.
Even if it's mutual and amicable (is it ever!?), it's hard to re-wire your thinking and cut out someone who was a large part of your life.
A lot of people seem to be going through break-ups at the moment (Rpatz and Kstew included) and it got me thinking about how much more difficult the process is getting.
In the old days, getting dumped was much more simple. Once the relationship had ended, the only ways to contact your ex were driving around to their house, ringing their landline or posting a letter.
Cut up their photo, chuck out everything they ever gave you and burn their old t-shirts and voila, all reminders of them were gone from your life.
These days it's harder to let go. Modern-day break-ups are a minefield of Facebook, Twitter, email and cellphones.
Back in the day, you probably would have chickened out - or sobered up - before you posted that over-the-top letter recounting the passion you once shared with your ex. Now you can ring up and sing Adele drunkenly into their answering machine or text them your undying love before you have the chance to think sensibly about it.
Deleting their number won't help - you probably know it off by heart. Even if you don't, there are dozens of other ways to contact them.
On Facebook, you have to face the dilemma of changing your relationship status and un-tagging photos of you together as a couple. Then, you'll be forced to answer a million questions from "well-meaning" friends who want to know what happened.
You may be tempted to post an emotional status to let the world know how devastated you are ("I may not be your first choice but I am still a great choice") or an equally cringe-worthy one designed to make your ex jealous ("Wild night in town last night with my girls, so many boys asking for my number"). Please, please, don't.
Even if you un-friend your ex they still won't go away. You'll probably end up hearing about them through mutual friends; you may even see images of them with their new girlfriend. Ouch.
I, for one, have been guilty of some pretty embarrassing break-up behaviour in the past. Pathetic texts (you know those ones where you pretend you "accidentally" sent them a text meant for someone else and use it to try and start a conversation), calling just to hear their answering machine, and excessive Facebook stalking (YOU SAID THAT WOMAN WAS YOUR COUSIN - WHY ARE YOU HOLDING HER HAND IN THAT NEW PHOTO?).
Basically, with modern-day technology, we now need to have more self-control. Which I, clearly, do not always possess.
So, if that fails you, some clever people have designed phone applications to help you get over a break-up. There's one which asks you if you really want to send texts to your ex before you do, one which gives you a positive affirmation each day (There are plenty more fish in the sea and you, girl, are a damn fine hook) and one where you can vent about your ex online with other newly-single people.
- © Fairfax NZ News
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