Summer can kill the romance
Summer lovin' - having a blast. Summer lovin' - happened so fast...
Who hasn't sat in the sunshine on a hot day and dreamt of a sizzling summer romance?
Like Grease, a young man "cute as can be" would swoop in and we'd spend several weeks making out under the docks and staying out past 10pm.
Then, when the weather cooled, he'd bugger off again before he traded his board shorts for leather pants and putting too much Brylcreem in his hair. Ick.
However, puzzlingly, this has never happened to me.
A quick survey of my single friends revealed none of them had ever experienced a true summer romance either.
And according to latest reports it's not due to a lack of males - they're apparently pouring into the city in droves.
I blame the weather.
It's just too bloody hot in summer for romance.
Sure, the raised temperature means it's a necessity to strip off.
If you hit Sumner beach on the weekends, there's an array of tanned and toned bodies being flashed around. (Of course, there's a fair share of the untoned, pasty variety on show too...)
But the heat makes us too lazy to do much more than ogle.
I don't know about you, but after a couple of hours in the sun and a few beverages, I'm feeling more sweaty and sleepy than saucy and seductive.
I can admire the flesh from afar but gaining the energy to walk over and talk to it is too much for me.
And let's not even go into how un-sexy sunburn and sandfly bites are.
Those summer nights Sandy likes to sing about so much are in reality a total romance killer too.
Being stuffy and humid is not conducive to intimacy.
Even with the windows open and the covers chucked off it has been stifling hot in our house. Most nights, I think EK would rather sleep on a bed of nails than have my sweaty bod clinging on to him.
I think the true time for romance is winter. Hot pools, mulled wine, fire light - that's when the lovin' actually happens.
It's cold, so snuggling up to others for body warmth is key. Having a man in the bed is much more effective at warming the bed than wearing a onesie and clutching a hot water bottle.
So, if you're experiencing a long, dry man-drought this summer, don't despair.
Wait for the temperature to drop outside and I predict things will be heating up inside.
Have you had a summer romance this year? Do you think they exist? Comment below, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow me on Twitter.