Geekiest blog post ever

Last updated 15:11 03/11/2009

Whedon T-shirtWarning: this may be the geekiest blog post ever. Not only does it contain references to the Terminator franchise, and Lord of the Rings it also quotes the geek master supreme, Joss Whedon, at great length. Yes, it's Terminator... of the Rings... as reimagined by Joss Whedon

Now, I realise there are some people out there going "cool!" and others saying "Joss who?" but really if you haven't seen the original teenage vampire romance series Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Dr Horrible's Singalong Blog (which you can catch a glimpse of here), you haven't lived. (He's also the man who launched Nathan Fillion on the world, for which we shall be eternally grateful.)

I realise geekiness is a relative term - like beauty ... or terrorism, but I for one would love to see what Whedon would do with the next Terminator film. He explains (but not on the website whedonesque.com - tagline "Joss the way we like it") in An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners, written just as the rights to the Terminator franchise come up for sale:

"Dear Sirs/Ma'ams,

"I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where 'hood' was capitalized 'cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the 'grapevine' that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

"No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

"No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

"1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise)."

"2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

"3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea.

"4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

"Nathan Fillion5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs!

"6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

"Okay. There's more -- this brain don't quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) -- but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I'd like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including "Song of Norway" (no current franchise offer).

"Sincerely, Joss Whedon."

Love it. Someone give him the franchise to both Terminator and Batboy quick, before Michael Bay grabs them!

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17 comments
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phee   #1   03:28 pm Nov 03 2009

Actually it is on whedonesque now: http://whedonesque.com/comments/22240#more (sorry if I'm not the first know-it-all to post that)

and I would totally watch any or all of the movies he suggests =)

Jenjen   #2   04:27 pm Nov 03 2009

I love JW (despite still getting cranky sometimes about the characters he did away with in Serenity) - have never even seen the Terminator movies, but if he took them on I'd queue for tickets!

Plus, if he can get Christian Bale to stop talking like a self-important emo kid with gravel in his throat, I'm sure movie-goers and Batman fans around the world would happily augment his $10,000 offer!!!!

Joss FTW! Michael Bay BOOOO...

Niri Tacen   #3   02:08 pm Nov 04 2009

I would totally wear that t-shirt. Must try to get one...

I just got Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on DVD. Wicked awesome, and comes with Commentary! The Musical! Which is too hilarious for words.

Basically, I will purchase anything Mr Whedon creates. Can't wait till Dollhouse gets here (Come on TV2 and 3, get the frakkin' programme!)

kater   #4   04:48 pm Nov 04 2009

Hee hee nice.

That t-shirt is O for awesome, where can I get my hands on one???

Have been tripping down memory lane with Joss recently with the Buffy reruns on Vibe :-)

Stuling   #5   09:08 pm Nov 04 2009

Have to second that. Where did you get that T-Shirt...?

Margaret Agnew   #6   09:18 pm Nov 04 2009

@Niri Oo! Where did you get the Dr H DVD - was it an import or is there an NZ distributor? Let me know! Sounds "Horrible". (By which I mean excellent...) Margaret

paul   #7   08:40 am Nov 05 2009

Dr Horrible is out on DVD? Coooooool....

Matthew   #8   11:36 am Nov 05 2009

You can only get the Dr Horrible from Amazon - it costs $US10. It's actually an Amazon-burn-on-demand thing (they make the disc when you order it), but it is official. And it is brilliant. Well worth getting.

paul   #9   12:28 pm Nov 05 2009

You should also check out www.watchtheguild.net

Its a very very funny web-tv series about people who play World of Warcraft type games online. It stars Felicia Day from Dr Horrible she also also writes the scripts (Hot and intellectual damn her!)

Silly kitty   #10   01:43 pm Nov 05 2009

at Paul #9

Yay a fellow fan! love felicia day - the guild is awesome - though no new episode this week - boo all the episodes are on youtube as well just look for the guild.

I love Joss Whedon and I would see that terminator movie or anything with Nathan Fillion (sighs....he's so very attractive.......)


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