OPINION: Last week's column about a cupcake led to the petrol station's CEO calling me up to apologise.
OPINION: A birthday card from a petrol station wanted to thank me for being one of its "most loyal customers" - an endearing little lie.
A warm towel's a nice indulgence but towels dry perfectly well on a washing line and a heated towel rail is a luxury that costs the world.
Human life may depend on water, but a human house depends on its absence. Water and soft furnishings don't mix.
I play no music at home. If music comes on the car radio I turn it off.
OPINION: Tomorrow I'm going teaching again. Partly because I will be paid but mainly because I miss the classroom.
I stopped in a country town to stretch my legs and eat a heavyweight pie. Standing in front of a junk shop window I was fingering a blob of meat and cheese from my shirt, when I caught sight of a big glass bottle and my mind flew straight to a primary school classroom.
OPINION: Young men have loved going into battle since our species evolved, but enjoy it all the more when they feel they are fighting on the side of the angels.
OPINION: I was going to write about the arrest of Justin Bieber. But I've just learned how an old friend died.
OPINION: When I stopped smoking, peacocks arrived. There are five of them, and one lone hen. The five boys follow her as sad souls follow sports teams.
OPINION: I was going to write about the arrest of Justin Bieber. But I've just learned how a friend and former teacher died, and Bieber has shrunk from view.
OPINION: The US Air Force disclosed last week that 34 officers have been removed for allegedly cheating in a proficiency test.
OPINION: Butterflies have survived for over 50 million years, a hundred times longer than people, yet we are their biggest threat.
OPINION: It happens perhaps half a dozen times during a life, and every time it's like a mini death. It happened to me last month. My passport expired.
OPINION: It's the week after Christmas, it's holiday time. And I've chosen to knock up a column in rhyme.
Without ageing, the tensions that give life its piquancy, its irony, its unique bitter-sweetness will simply disappear.
OPINION: Fifty years ago a florist tried it. Now it's the turn of a fast food outfit. To compare the two is to see how far we've come in half a century.
OPINION: I asked myself when I was last as happy as the dog was now. And the answer was Wednesday.
OPINION: There's nothing like the shaming of the great and good to put a spring in the step.
OPINION: Should we stop pronouncing French words and phrases in regular use in English as if they were still French?