Joe Bennett

Joe Bennett: It isn't easy being President


OPINION: The job seems to have won. I, Barack Obama, have become my office.

Top Gear car causes near miss

Traffic lights

OPINION: Nothing like rubber-necking at a fancy car in a prang to almost create a second crash.

Books are better


OPINION: When on a plane coming in to land, I hold my book a little higher so I can be seen by those who've had to switch off their electric books.

A different game of two halves

iraq strap

OPINION: If the Middle East doesn't watch out we'll give up on them. We really will.

No bones about sale to kids

New World

OPINION: Children make top customers with their lack of critical judgment, trust in adults and slavery to appetites.

Joe Bennett: Ah love


OPINION: Ah men. Ah women. Ah love. It does such damage. Here's the story of a friend.

Life in the land of Money

Generic money

OPINION: Two million is the new "one" when it comes to buying a house in the suburb of Money.

Finding comfort over style

Joe Bennett

OPINION: A recent weight gain has meant I've rediscovered an old flame of my youth - track pants.

Teachers, have ye made a match?


OPINION: When I taught English, no-one wanted to know what I thought about it. Now that I don't, they sometimes do.

Germany will win the World Cup

Bastian Schweinsteiger

The current Brazilian team is short on Brazilianness. Its only artist is Neymar and he's just broken his back. The rest of the team is playing earnest Protestant football.

Sweltering on the rightish path

left turn

OPINION: We'd taken a wrong turn - and a wrong turn's always the right thing to do.

A terminal case of megalomania


OPINION: Travelling is difficult - exponentially more so when you're foreign. And London's Victoria Station is full of foreigners.

What? Football at the World Cup?

Fifa Football World Cup Trophy

OPINION: Welcome to the Fifa 2014 World Cup, with football being but a mere sideshow to big money.

Joe Bennett takes a wild Dyers Pass ride

Joe Bennett

OPINION: An albeit dangerous bike ride down Dyers Pass Rd made me feel like an 8-year-old again.

Devices will snitch on us

OPINION: There is now more computing power in your cellphone than there was in Apollo 11.

A toast to life's Acquisitors


OPINION: Ten years ago Kim Hill interviewed a dying historian who'd written a book. He was spending the last cancer-racked months of his life promoting it.

You win, everyone else loses


The game's rules are simple: Describe the prelude to a global cataclysm. If the future proves you right, you win.

Storm hit 'like flung nails'

Lyttelton's Canterbury St floodss

Earthquakes have shaken the hills and storms have lashed them. The once-firm foundations of Lyttelton now feel like fingernails dug into the hillside.

Joe Bennett gets apology over cupcake


OPINION: Last week's column about a cupcake led to the petrol station's CEO calling me up to apologise.

Stick your cupcake up your petrol pump

Z Energy

OPINION: A birthday card from a petrol station wanted to thank me for being one of its "most loyal customers" - an endearing little lie.

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