Food police may come a'knocking on Strawberry Hill
JOE BENNETT
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Joe Bennett
Several alarmed readers have written to alarm me.
"Joe," they write, "we want to alarm you because you are a leading back-garden producer of horticultural material. [Thank you. Have you seen the size of my strawberries? They're two to a wheelbarrow.] What we want to alarm you about is the proposed Food Bill. The government is trying to sneak it through while everyone's drunk over Christmas. They must be stopped.
"If the bill becomes law, it will make it difficult for anyone to trade in food unless they're (a) a supermarket, (b) a multinational corporation whose CEO has a face like a punctured football or (c) a supermarket owned by a multinational corporation whose CEO has a face like a punctured football.
"You, Joe, have a face like a punctured football. But in all other regards you fail to meet the criteria so you will be breaking the law if you continue to pay your mechanically-gifted neighbour for fixing your chainsaw with a wheelbarrow of giant strawberries. This matter is so urgent Joe that we're not even going to rewrite that last sentence to remove the amusing ambiguity. [As it happens my neighbour is so mechanically gifted that he could fix a chainsaw with a wheelbarrow of giant strawberries.]
"The proposed new law will be enforced by Food Safety Officers with such powers of entry and seizure that we are tempted by the words sweeping and/or draconian. [Well done for resisting temptation. But boo hiss for succumbing to and/or.] Should these officers hear of anyone producing strawberries for barter or gain - and they could hardly fail to notice yours which stand out on the brown Lyttelton hillside like beacons to warn shipping [thank you once more] - they will descend without warrant or warning. You will recognise them by their highly polished thigh-length boots and their tendency when marching to kick their legs straight out in front of them.
"Under the proposed bill all manner of activities that are as old as mankind will become subject to intrusive regulation. Owners of market stalls selling produce will become so burdened by the requirements of compliance that they will wilt like calceolarias under the current watering restrictions and give up. (By the way, how is it that you keep producing such gargantuan berries? We hope you're not behaving like the Christchurch City Council and defying the rules.) [Certainly not. But like the council, whose omniscience and wisdom I salute with every available finger, I have suffered a couple of computer programming malfunctions.]
"Under the proposed legislation, Joe, seeds and seedlings will become controlled substances. So if you were, hypothetically, to pot up a few cuttings from your fraises gigantesques, as no one has ever been heard to call them in Akaroa, and take them to market, you would be bunged into clink by the Food Police who would then don masks and white disposable overalls in order to deal with your unlicensed and therefore hazardous organic material.
"Do you think we're alarmist, Joe? Well, don't take our word for it. You can read all about it for yourself. But we have to act quickly. If you wait till everyone sobers up in mid-January it will be too late.
"Regards
Alarmed readers"
They then appended several links to websites, all of which ended .govt.nz. It's a suffix that guarantees a good read. I rubbed my hands together, clicked on a link and settled in to enjoy an afternoon of government legal speak.
When I woke up it was dark. And the column is due in an hour, so I have not read the whole of the proposed legislation. Indeed I've read only a couple of prefatory sentences. But I believe I've read enough.
First, the main purpose of the bill is to "improve the interface of regulatory processes across food sectors". If language like that doesn't shrivel your innards, then we have different innards.
And second, according to Hon Kate Wilkinson, Minister for Food Safety (oh the glory) there "remains a significant incidence of food-borne illness in New Zealand and more can be done to protect consumers".
Now listen here, Hon. For one thing don't ever call me a consumer. And for another, stop pretending to protect me. Food producers don't want to poison me and this legislation wouldn't stop them if they did. Indeed, I'm willing to bet a wheelbarrow of strawberries that it wouldn't reduce the incidence of food-borne illness one jot. Instead it would just bugger people about, yet again, in the name of health and safety.
I may be wrong, of course. I know nothing. So, readers, don't take my word for it. Just go to www.foodsafety.govt.nz. to decide for yourselves. And take a pillow.
- © Fairfax NZ News
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These monster strawbs are a bit of a worry. What if one should break its leash, tumble down the hill and demolish a house or two down below? As long as the growing season lasts, surely all residences below you should be red-stickered? Does the Council know about this??
Ginger #8 - I went to look at the petition when I first found out about it (some time ago). I found a string of messages saying "But what's the ACTUAL wording of the petition?" I'm not signing something on the assumption that I would PROBABLY agree with it.
If they bothered to show the actual wording, I'd almost certainly sign it. Otherwise, I assume it's a trick.
@P#9. Please go and READ the actual bill, it very, very clearly states that it includes Bartering, and giving away food. The NZFSA is telling people what they want to hear, I urge everyone to read this bill for themselves and then decide.
I am as annoyed and shocked by this proposal as Mr Bennet and all of these blog contributors. I have no intention of missing my weekly visit to my local Farmers' Market, or discontinuing my practice of trading produce from my large vegetable garden and bee hives (nor of refraining from fobbing off surplus courgettes on friends and neighbours who haven't asked for them.)and doubt that these practices will stop. I certainly hope it won't prevent the providers at said market being able to afford their selling. It's ridiculous.
If the government's intention is truly to reduce the incidence of food borne illness in New Zealand, they might do better to require every domestic toilet room in NZ to include a sink so that hands may be conveniently washed without travelling to another room. They might also consider requiring builders to install fly screens in kitchens. I suspect our common practice of living with flies among us, as well as the unwashed hands that are likely as common as the flies cause much more problem than locally grown foods. Think about it.
Well, i too find all this quite shocking. What are we comming to? This food bill will bite back the hands that wrote it. Surely they can see the future implications of this madness, after all said and done the minute this bill is passed, they must concider implementing a prohibition on alcohol as studies have conclusively showen that this stuff is not safe to consume, under the wording of the bill the producers must prove that it is safe. So what of that? They have decided that we can't smoke tobacco, as its bad for your lungs, or toke a joint, because of so much miss information and international conventions, so it stands to reason that because of the evedent dangers to your liver,the destruction of familys, the road toll and production and safety in the wok place this must happen under this bill. The only exclusion i can think of would be red wine, but only with a script from a gp as it is reported that a wee drop of that reduces the risk of breast cancer. actually given the damage that alchole does in our comunitys it might not be a bad idea.....prohibition that is, not the food bill. We should protest against that in the streets of our towns and cities in the coutry and beaches, we should defend our islands we should never surrender. oh and ps the bible speaks of this check it out ,go to a church and ask the vicar, he will be glad to show you where to find it. so as the words of our national anthem state......GOD DEFEND OUR FREE LAND. miss you all, good luck.
In answer to P: of course this legislation if successfully sneaked through won't change anything - at least not immediately and obviously.
But it will empower the corporations (why do we bother voting when it's clear who are really in charge?); it will empower that class of people that finds satisfaction in informing on fellow citizens; and under the guise of saving us all from vague dangers (ever a rationale for totalitarian governments), it will give absolute authority to officers with the collective potential to evolve to a Gestapo.
If you think this is over the top read European 1930s history. Bit by bit, covertly, seductively, relying on that easygoing 'she'll be right' Kiwi nature, they are taking away our freedoms.
All part of American Corporate Class warefare Policy reaching our shores. Search and Surveillance Bill, Skynet Bill and now The Food Bill are concessions for Free Trade.
With the NDAA in the bag next is SOPA which is a smoke screen for PIPA, it is a never ending loop with the reduction of rights and privacy of the individual and increase in the rights of Corporations.
And least we forget that Monsanto just brought XE (re-branded Black Water which had to shut from IRAQ war crimes).
New Zealand is so right wing that at this point Fascist / Draconian Policy does not even need to hide itself incrementally and can now just been plain in your face like The Food Bill.
This "alarm" was initially started with a spamming email and I received it a while back in my inbox. It requests you to spread the email via Facebook and Twitter and your contact list, classic ways of spreading spyware/malware. If the people behind it were genuine they wouldn't be triggering a scare factor which leads people to pass on the email without questioning, is this legitimate or spam? The internet is full of trickery so unless you know the exact origin on the email, delete it, even if it has been forwarded by someone you know.
When experts are consulted, as in the case of Seismologists, after an earthquake, and are asked what is going to happen next, the answers are trusted by those who rely on their utterances. Why they were not asked when quakes will occur is an enigma. So for this reason to rely on another bureaucrat to tell us what we should and should not be doing, is making a rod for our backs again. More performance bonuses and higher salaries etc. Do we need them? We don't think so and if this Government pushes it through under the guise of making food safer, time to reflect on our folly of re-electing them.
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Re:Jeep #11
For the benifit of the people of New Zealand, Please spend some time to read the actual Food Bill. It clearly states that any authorization or exemption given to the growers or producers it can be revoked any time and the Minister can change the law and regulation any time. YOu are very ill-imformed have prejudice against people who are warning fellow citizens about the serious dangers of this Food Bill.