OPINION: I'm in trouble with my wife.
After a show at the Buskers Festival, I accidentally said I thought men were funnier than women.
This didn't go down well.
It's the fault of the organisers you see. They've divided the stand up into two shows. Ladies and gents. They've done this just to set up poor suckers like me who blurt out the first dumb thought that comes into their head, in order to annoy their wives.
I always make an effort to get along to the festival. There's a strong comedic vein running through the programme and local guys (and girls) are right up there. Guys like Sam Wills (The Boy With Tape on His Face) and Shay Hooray (Keith Preene's Golden Goose Bingo) are as funny as any of the others.
And it was Shay Hooray I was thinking of when I offered my just as stupid but slightly more considered argument to my wife:
"You know when me and the boys go away and have a bloody laugh the whole time? It's nothing but haw-haw-hawing all weekend long. We come home with sore sides. But when you go away with your girlfriends it's much more civilised and nice ... less funny."
"For God's sake. You guys just drink too much. That's what's happening. Your side is sore because you're ruining your liver."
Well, I took offence at that. I know we like a drink but we're also funny in the morning.
So I started asking the question of people I came across. Who is funnier, men or women? I discovered that when asked, men turn into chauvinist pigs and women become raging feminists.
This only heightened the tension between my wife and myself as we sat eating dinner and saying things like:
"You like Sarah Silverman, don't you. She's a woman."
We had to decide once and for all. We had to visit the festival to see who was funnier. The men or the women. So we went to see the stand-up comedians.
Now give me a good stand-up over any of the other carnie acts that come to festivals like this. The ability to stand in front of a room full of people and make them laugh fills me with wonder. And God knows, the good folks of Christchurch deserve a good old laugh these days.
So it was with much expectation that we went to see the comics. And I'll tell you what. They were funny.
Funny enough that I guffawed, laughed from my belly and even wiped away a tear on one occasion. And do you know what? It really didn't matter what sex the comedian was. The ones that were funny were funny and the ones that weren't ... Gender had nothing to do with it.
But go along for yourself. The festival's on 'til the end of the weekend and there's plenty more laughs to be had between now and then. So get down and support the event, it really has grown into one of the jewels in Christchurch's annual entertainment crown.
It gave me a laugh, anyway.
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