On everyone's lips

I have really struggled to focus on this week's column as, while sitting in front of my keyboard, I find myself unable to shake the earthquake out of my head.

Much of Dunedin, where I live, was jiggled awake a few seconds after Christchurch was struck. Then, oddly, my cellphone started to ring.

Once, twice and then my partner's cellphone also rang. I checked the caller ID and they were all from the same Christchurch number. A number that I did not recognise. I immediately assumed it was something to do with the earthquake and feared the worst.

I rang the number about 4.50am and a woman, whose name was Alison, answered the phone. As it turned out she did not ring me or Megan and she sounded a bit stunned while she told me there had just been a massive quake. She said she was surprised the phone was working at all as the power was off and there were no lights visible outside. I wished Alison well and she then said, "Thanks for ringing."

I then rang family in Christchurch but got no answer. I stayed up after that and waited for the first information to hit the Stuff website and then, later in the morning, I followed the TVNZ news coverage.

By this time we had spoken to friends and relatives in Christchurch, some who had been affected quite badly, and things didn't feel really serious. We knew the damage looked bad and people were certainly shocked, but we had a sense that this "event" was going to be over by Sunday and surely, come Monday morning it was going to be business as usual.

But, of course, the day unfolded rather differently than that and, in fact, as each hour passed the situation proved to be more and more serious. This was a real disaster of some significant proportion.

I work with a group of mature professional counsellors every six weeks or so and, although we are really meant to talk about other things, in this week's session the discussion was dominated by personal thoughts, experiences and anxieties about the earthquake.

Some had siblings living in the city, others were born and raised there. None of the group was in Canterbury during the earthquake, but all of them were affected.

Watching the crisis from a distance and as the enormity of the situation has become clear, considerable angst has been created for many New Zealanders. This has left many wondering what to do and how they can help.

Many Otago people I have spoken to have wanted to head to Christchurch to help tidy up, but most realise this will simply be a nuisance factor to the real tidier- uppers.

Others have talked to me about the trauma that their Christchurch-based family members are experiencing as the slow realisation comes upon them that their homes are actually gone for good. While talking to family many are suppressing the natural instinct to lighten things up a little or to offer up encouraging words lest they be seen as trite or insensitive.

What has risen through to those of us outside the city over the past few days is the emotional disruption that has occurred. It has been apparent in the talk-back radio calls, in the distraught interviews on the news and in Mayor Bob Parker's frank and open comments.

It is possibly a unique experience in modern times - an event of such devastating consequences that has not caused, directly, a single fatality. The ghoulish media coverage of similar events is often focused on body counts, scenes of destruction, celebrity interventions and the ensuing disease and desperation suffered by survivors.

Despite the fact that none of these dreadful characters have appeared in the Christchurch disaster the fear, the grief, the sense of loss and helplessness are all still present.

And this also is what other New Zealanders are coming to grips with. It is a little like talking to the family of the deceased at a wake or a funeral. There is not a lot that can be done or said.

When it comes to other huge disasters we could normally send some cash to Oxfam or Red Cross. Or maybe be so mind-numbingly distant, as we experience the anguish and suffering of foreign sounding peoples and alien landscapes via the television, that it may as well be a fictional, blockbuster movie. But this is different. This is Hereford St where I used to work, Sol Square where I had fish and chips two weeks ago, these are people I know, it is my brother-in-law's house that may be pulled down due to earthquake damage. It is a cityscape I have been familiar with much of my life that is set to change forever because it has been struck by a massive natural disaster.

- © Fairfax NZ News