Rites teach boys to be men

KATARINA FILIPE

Boys behaving badly will soon be a thing of the past for Timaru, if a unique educational programme works its magic as hoped. Katarina Filipe explores The Rite Journey – a programme developed by two Australian teachers that has everyone shouting its praises.

Have you ever seen Brat Camp?

It's a reality TV show featuring teenagers who smoke, get drunk and sleep around, without realising the pain they are causing their families.

The brats are sent to a camp, usually out in the wilderness, where they are forced to learn all sorts of life skills and discover the error of their ways.

Now Timaru has its own version, thanks to the initiative of staff at Timaru Boys' High School. Their boys may not be fully-fledged brats now but the concern is that without proper guidance, they could well be in a few years.

When year 10 students at the high school returned to the classroom last month, they found another subject on their timetables – The Rite Journey. The programme is the brainchild of two Australian teachers, Andrew Lines and Graham Gallasch. Timaru Boys' High is the first school in New Zealand to pick up the concept.

On the surface, the programme sounds great. It makes teenage boys think and talk about bullying, sexism, racism and homophobia. It helps them deal with anger and family problems. They learn how to share their feelings and how to become a respectful man.

But can something as simple as a talking stick really help steer boys away from alcohol, girls and fast cars?

Schools, parents and experts have tried to keep teens out of trouble before, so where does the difference lie?

Is it with the programme's price tag – at least $14,000 for 175 boys – or is it with the more traditional rituals the programme uses, such as lighting a candle or a 24-hour solo camp?

Is The Rite Journey even the right journey?

The short answer, from staff at the school, the programme creators, psychologist Steve Biddulph and a principal who has done it before, is `yes'.

Lines is confident it will provide a new rite of passage for teenage boys in any part of the world, from any background.

"I have spoken with teachers from many countries in the West – USA, UK, Canada, Europe, Australia and New Zealand. Nearly all acknowledge the issues we have with young men not stepping into responsible manhood," he said.

"In training the teachers at Timaru, it was clear that they too acknowledged this. The idea of a rite of passage has stood the test of time for thousands of years ... it is only the recent West which has abandoned it."

But why? Well, technology for one, it seems.

Lines said one of the reasons he saw a need for a programme like The Rite Journey was the increasing focus on technology, both in the classroom and in young people's lives.

"I was concerned about the decreasing human connection that these young people were experiencing. My own discussions among students in my classes reflected what the rest of society was noticing – that young people were spending more time in front of a screen each week than at school."

Some boys didn't have an appropriate role model while growing up, someone to teach them how to be responsible and respectful.

Advice from experts soon made Lines and Gallasch realise what needed to be done.

In his book titled Manhood, Biddulph called for teachers to develop a co-parenting and mentoring role in boys' emotional development, which Lines said "deeply resonated" with him.

From 1996, The Rite Journey started to evolve. These days, it is a year-long programme, of two lessons a week, that takes students through seven stages to becoming an adult.

Seven stages of the journeyThe Call – This stage acknowledges the end of childhood. Students say `thank you' to all the people who have got them to that stage. They symbolise the start of the journey, for example by throwing a stone into the sea. Students also choose what item they would like to use as a "talking stick".

The Departure – Parents give their blessing to teachers to take their son through the journey.

The Following – Each student chooses a mentor from outside their family who will spend up to 18 hours with them through the year. Students are encouraged to work on a project with their mentor, such as building something or learning a new skill.

The Challenges – This is decided by individual schools. It helps students understand there will always be challenges in life. An example of a challenge might be for students to do as many push-ups as they can at the start of the journey and then try to double that by the end.

The Abyss – This is the biggest challenge. Students are dropped off in different locations with a sleeping bag, ration pack and tent supplies. They are left on their own for 24 hours, with no way of contacting the outside world. This teaches them to not worry about a difficulty before it happens because, more often than not, it doesn't seem so bad afterwards. It also leads them on a path of self discovery.

The Return – This is usually when the talking stick is burnt or destroyed to signal that childhood is over. Some schools use a pine board that students can karate chop. They write phrases on the board, such as "goodbye to childhood".

The Homecoming – Students stand up in front of their peers, family and school community to thank them and explain what they've learnt over the year. Teachers and parents also say something about the student.

It's a yes from usSteve Biddulph, who has been a consultant on boys' education to schools worldwide for more than 20 years, is a big supporter of The Rite Journey concept.

"The Rite Journey takes a time at school that often is boring and pointless to teenage boys and gives them what they really need and are seeking – a pathway into adult life and fine manhood. It has both practical and ethical aspects which work directly to prevent harm and at the same time inspire boys towards being more responsible, caring, confident and focused. It turns a problem into an opportunity," Biddulph said.

"I think schools of the future will all have programmes to address this transition, both for girls and boys, towards being better adults. We have somehow left this off the curriculum, but it's at least as important as algebra or history."

Across the ditch, Adelaide's Immanuel College, a Christian co-educational year 7 to 12 school, is into its third year of The Rite Journey.

Principal Kevin Richardson said it gave the girls and boys their "passport to life".

"[Teenagers are] not nice to themselves, they're not nice to each other and they're certainly not nice to their parents.

"The reality is, any kid at that age is going through problems. "People miss the point – an adolescent 14-year-old kid is the same anywhere in the world.

"Like in most schools, [our] girls weren't nice to each other and boys withdrew internally."

Richardson said he had noticed students had more positive relationships after completing the programme.

"We've seen a reduction in counselling at school because [kids] know how to deal with it.

"Parents also say their parent and kid relationships have significantly improved."

Richardson said he chose The Rite Journey because it linked with what the school was already trying to do.

"I've looked for a number of programmes around the world, in the US and in Europe. This linked back to traditional steps. "We just add God into the equation as well."

He said at first some students, and even some teachers, were sceptical.

"The teachers thought, `oh, this will last a lesson', but five or six lessons later the boys have still been talking about their lives, even boys that we didn't think might."

Richardson said even if schools didn't notice a difference at the end of the first year, they should keep going.

"Some kids change in 12 months. One particular girl was completely resistant to the whole thing, but yet we can actually see what it's done for her."

Timaru boys ready to leadA team of 10 staff at Timaru Boys' High have been trained to teach The Rite Journey, two of whom joined rector Kevin O'Sullivan to share their views with The Timaru Herald.

"The thing that makes it so appealing is it brings together so many things we try to do anyway," O'Sullivan said.

It didn't take much convincing for staff to see the programme was special.

"We could see how it could slot in so well with the school. It was relevant to us as males.

"It isn't what I would call a `fluffy' programme. It has a purpose," guidance counsellor Tony Bunting said.

The men agreed it would have made a big difference if they had something like The Rite Journey when they were at school, and it was unfortunate older students missed out this year.

However, they hoped the effects would flow on.

As well as convincing the school community of the programme's merits, the school has also got to win over the rest of New Zealand.

Other schools are interested, but are waiting to see how Timaru Boys' High gets on before they take the plunge.

Group leader Paul Bennison said anyone who doubted the success of the programme would need to look into it more.

"They need to find out as much as they can about it. They don't know the process we go through together.

"You can always stand outside and throw stones but as a community they really need to get behind it."

Bunting said the evidence would be seeing the young men at the end of the year.

However, teachers were already noticing little changes.

One boy said he would start making his own lunches, while a quiet student had finally piped up in the classroom.

It may seem minor, but that was what self responsibility was about, the men said.

The programme costs about $80 per student, not including training for staff or resources.

O'Sullivan said the programme's future would be decided as each year passed.

"If the huge enthusiasm from the staff and boys continues, [The Rite Journey is] going to be with us for some time to come."

- © Fairfax NZ News