Crafting a catchy city slogan a tall order

So after two years Timaru has shed its "touch, taste, feel" slogan and adopted a new one. Well, I can't say I'm sorry. As a sub-editor I always felt a bit embarrassed by the tautology of that catchphrase to promote Timaru.

I never did work out exactly what was the difference between touch and feel.

The new "feel the heartbeat" campaign at least has a bit more focus about it, although I'm not sure it's entirely appropriate in a city with an ageing population.

What is the corollary (or should that be coronary) catchline? "Check the pulse. Look for the vital signs."

The reaction of one resident was that perhaps it was a slogan better suited to St John Ambulance – she actually said St John but his heartbeat has long gone – and she speculated that maybe it was in preparation for ratepayers opening their next rates bill.

However, I feel it's a great improvement on "touch, taste, feel" and it certainly does focus on the fact that one of Timaru's major attractions is that it is at the heart of the South Island, a great geographical advantage for attracting sports tournaments to the city. And I also like the focus of the new banners on family activity.

It must be very difficult coming up with a slogan that really encapsulates a city or region.

Brash, glitzy Las Vegas has hit the nail on the head with its catchphrase: "What happens here, stays here". Thousands of visitors each year must be very relieved to hear that.

In fact it's probably no surprise that the Americans have come up some of the very best city slogans. I particularly like the one that Omaha, famous for its steaks, has come up with: "Rare. Well done."

I suppose Yuma in Arizona couldn't possibly have any other motto than: "Experience our sense of Yuma".

Likewise San Gabriel in California, which was named after a Spanish mission, really couldn't go with anything other than: "The city with a mission".

I really like the sense of humour displayed by the city authorities in Walla Walla, Washington State. Signs greeting visitors to Walla Walla proclaim: "The city was so nice they named it twice".

The famous old Western town of Tombstone in Arizona cashes in on its violent past by proclaiming itself "the town that was too tough to die".

Not all US city authorities have come up with good slogans, though. How San Francisco's authorities must be regretting dubbing Frisco "Baghdad by the sea". All that conjures up these days is car bombings and flag burning.

Back here in New Zealand I do wonder about the wisdom of Wairoa's motto: "New Zealand the way it used to be".

As far as the overseas visitors are concerned, New Zealand is already the world the way it used to be. To push Wairoa further back in time leaves you with images of early settlers living in pit-sawn timber huts.

And Hamilton's "More than you would expect" doesn't quite hit the mark. After all, you don't expect an awful lot from a province that dubs its rugby team "the Mooloo men".

However, I have every sympathy for local authorities trying to come up with catchphrases and slogans that will attract visitors' attention and encourage them to stop and spend money.

Mind you, some communities have a bigger challenge than others. Imagine trying to come up with a catchy slogan for Condom in Gers, France.

How about simply: "Pull over?" Or perhaps: "Get your thrills in Condom".

I can't help wondering if the good people of Condom have a twin city exchange with Climax in Michigan. It certainly wouldn't be very wise twinning with Fertile in Minnesota, but there are possibilities with Sexmoan in the Philippines.

And how the heck do you attract tourists to a city named "Hell". There are, to my knowledge, at least three such towns, two in the States and one in Norway.

Perhaps the authorities concentrate on the climate: "Hell – it never freezes here".

In any case, people back home probably get a thrill out of getting a postcard from Hell.

Last but not least I have yet to discover what slogan has been chosen for a certain small town in Austria that is such a rude word in English that I can't write it out in full in a family newspaper. Let's just say it has seven letters and the name begins in F and ends in G.

This town is about 30km from Salzburg and literally translated the name means "the place of Focko's people".

Because of the meaning of its name in English, the town doesn't need a catchy phrase to attract visitors. They already come in droves to have their photos taken by the signs at the entrance to the town.

In fact so popular were the signs that they were constantly having to be replaced because tourists keep nicking them.

This became such a problem that in 2004 it was decided to have a vote among the town's 93 residents to determine if they should change the name.

To their everlasting credit they voted to stick with the name but make the signs more resistant to theft.

It is not recorded whether they also adopted a town slogan: "Come here for a F––-g good time".