Testing the attitudes to non-conformism

It all started during a prize giving where my daughter, along with a zillion others, received awards for a particular project.

All of us parents sat bored, clapping politely, waiting for our own little darling's name to be read out, then we puffed out our chest with pride as they confidently walked up to the front to shake hands with someone important.

To be perfectly honest I didn't give a toss about anyone else's progeny. After about an hour my child was finally summoned. I was shocked out of my boredom and thought "yes". Unfortunately, thought and speech accidentally combined and I loudly exclaimed my affirmative thought process.

Everyone within earshot turned and glared at me. Anyone would've thought I'd smacked her, not encouraged her. My husband sitting to my left told me I shouldn't embarrass the poor girl, while an acquaintance to my right said he would pretend he didn't know me.

And thus my desire to test attitudes to non-conformists was borne - just for fun. With the announcement of her next prize I deliberately started clapping slightly ahead of the crowd - again there were daggers.

Spurred on by such reactions, at the next gathering I was attending I carefully planned maximum response. It was a National Council of Women's (NCW) breakfast to celebrate Suffrage Day. I decided to approach individuals and gauge their tolerance by suggesting there should be a National Council of Men. To add salt to the wound I went on to point out that a National Council of Women was probably unnecessary in this day and age.

Reactions ranged from a tightlipped disapproval to indications that the NCW still had much work to do. One unique response included that the Freemasons was like a National Council of Men and the United Nations was like a National Council of Humans. Minimal progress on the subject led to a discussion on the need for a National Council of Gays. But there was no real room for thinking "outside the rectangle". After all why would they be attending a NCW event if they didn't believe it was important? What did I expect?

Bearing this in mind I roped some work colleagues into a debate on abortion recently, oh dear.

Well that last one certainly topped the response meter as I spoke of my views about abortion being bad for women. My colleagues are lovely intelligent men and women who controlled their language very well but I could see I had riled them badly.

So on reflection what was the point of all this? It confirmed the non conformist issue in Timaru and I gained attention - not necessarily of the positive kind.

I wonder what it is like being a rebel in other parts of the country. 

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Jill   #1   08:32 pm Nov 18 2009

All power to you and your desire to rattle the cages of the conformists amongst us. Personally I have always thought that my actions were unique, at times notably so! I always enjoy any opportunity to spark new debate by throwing in a thought from outside the square, the reaction, often the prize. Why, do so many folk in our society work so hard at staying on the safe pathway? Is it the fear of not fitting in, if so, we need to release these tortured souls. It is ok to be diverse and at the same time raise debate around all things, that surely is how we learn and expand on our world view. We can only illuminate our own pathway by being true to ourselves, not the conformist views of others.

Dale Hersom   #2   04:58 pm Nov 20 2009

When will we learn that "difference" is not such a threat to us as humans.By appreciating and respecting our diversity we can sometimes find the liberation of common ground shared, and, a point of reference for respect and tolerance to allow the continuing journey of growth in this precious gift of life we share in. I agree that men need their own representation in these times. Healthy men banding together to promote healthy leadership for their families. Here in Australia we have a movement called "Mens Shed" which is seeking to address this issue. Women too, need to stand up and be accountable for the actions that contribute to the disempowerment of men as leaders and protectors in our society.

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