How to survive a road trip with kids

BY STEPHEN LACEY

It's that time of year again, when families across New Zealand prepare for school holiday road trips to visit relatives, to go to favourite holiday destinations or just to see a bit of the country.

Some of the trips will be joyous. But others are sure to be sheer agony.

Just ask Julie Goodwin, the home-cooking maestro who won television's Australian MasterChef final last year.

A mother of three boys, Goodwin says each year her family heads for Australia's south coast. While some trips have been fine, others have been frankly hellish.

"I've had some absolute nightmare trips, with screaming from door to door," she says.

"What should be a six-hour trip will often take eight, depending how many times you have to stop."

So, what can you do to make a journey with kids bearable?

We enlisted the help of Goodwin and two other experienced parents for their take on five common issues that crop up when driving with kids.

Child psychologist Dr John Irvine's overall strategy is to provide lots of distractions, to stop regularly and allow children to have space from each other.

Comedian Jean Kittson has two daughters and says road trips are something she really enjoys. The family motors around in a seven-seater Toyota Kluger to ensure everyone has room.

TRAVEL HELP

You're going on a long trip and are looking at entertainment options. Should you install a DVD player to keep them amused, or will this mean they miss out on the true road experience?

Goodwin: Install a DVD player. My theory is they won't get to enjoy the road-trip experience if you're so frustrated you drive into a telegraph pole. I have a DVD in my car. I call it a safety feature. Nowadays the boys are more into their iPods.

Irvine: Scenery is for the senile. Kids love play. They don't like looking out the window at pretty landscapes. I see nothing wrong with a DVD, as long as they're watching something age-appropriate. Keeping the kids distracted is the key to a pleasant journey. Other distractions might include "I spy". Teenage children will probably enjoy a new magazine for the journey. Magnetic puzzles are great for the younger kids.

Kittson: I would never install a DVD, ever, they're banned from my car. You have to experience the broad range of frustration, anger, resentment, fear and loathing the road trip entails. CDs of Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter have got us through hours of travelling. I don't mind the kids listening to a book, or even killing each other, as long as they're looking out the window. I'm a scenery Nazi. I want them to experience the outback as we drive through it at 110km/h.

An hour after pulling out of your driveway for a 12-hour car trip, the "are we there yet?" questions start. What's the best response?

Goodwin: We've always told the boys to look at the numbers on the clock. If the numbers don't say the right time, the answer is "no, we're not there yet". It's a bit of problem when we're running late and the numbers do in fact suggest we should be there.

Irvine: Kids have no concept of time or distance. There's not anything you can do about this, except distract them continuously. Or you can make them get out of the car and ask them to repeat the phrase over and over until they flood it out of their system.

Kittson: The only response is "no, eat some more lollies, haven't you got enough sugar to get you through another hour?" I'm all for junk food when it comes to the holiday road trip. You can't have enough of it. My own parents used to bring along boiled eggs for us to snack on. Can you imagine the atmosphere inside that car, with us eating the eggs and my parents smoking, with the windows wound up?

A friend tells you she pays her little one 20 cents for every white horse she spots on a road journey? Is bribery the right way to go?

Goodwin: Bribery is a very underrated device when it comes to controlling children's behaviour. As adults you don't do something unless you're compensated for it, why should children be any different?

Irvine: I'd prefer to call it giving them incentives; at least it's a positive thing and they end up with a bit of money to spend on their holiday. Mind you, it'd be cheaper for you to pay them for every unicorn they see.

Kittson: Mine would never have fallen for that. I'd have to give them two bucks for every red car. They're expensive children. We prefer to play a game of "spotto". Usually we spot for certain letters on car number plates. There's no money involved, just the complete and utter satisfaction of beating your siblings.

Our parents did it. Their parents did it. When, if ever, should you play the don't-make-me-stop-the-car-or-you'll-be-sorry card?

Goodwin: Never. I think you shouldn't make threats you're not willing to carry out. Besides, if I had to stop the car every time there was a dispute, we'd never get where we were going.

Irvine: Threats seldom work. That's because most parents don't follow through with their threats and therefore look really stupid. It's the mum and dad who are often sorry because the kids know you're not serious. My wife, Jean, used to threaten the kids and I'd just draw a deep breath because I knew it was futile.

Kittson: You should play that card until it runs out of steam and nobody believes you any more. In my day you'd get a smack around the legs. I do that to my parents now when they travel with us and won't shut up. Sometimes there are eight of us in the car, all folded in like deckchairs.

You have two back-seat passengers who get on each other's nerves in a big way. How do you keep the punching and kicking to a minimum?

Goodwin: Buy a very big car. I bought a Chrysler Voyager, so the boys can't even reach each other now.

Irvine: One of the best methods I heard was this father put a whole pile of Freddo Frogs on the console. He told the kids they could have the frogs when they got to their destination, however, each time they argued, a frog would be thrown out the window. He was true to his word. The kids soon stopped fighting. A simpler way is to put a parent in the back seat between the warring parties.

Kittson: I always carry a big duvet and a couple of pillows to put between them. Or my husband will travel in the back to keep the peace. I never volunteer for the back because I enjoy driving so much. I could drive 12-hour stints if I remember to revive and survive.

- © Fairfax NZ News