In Boston last week, I spent 80 per cent of the week on my own.
I ate all of my meals alone, I rode the subway alone, I woke up alone (and sweaty! That East Coast summer, man...), I walked the streets alone and drank coffee alone.
It wasn't all one big silent movie. I was there for work purposes, and there were a handful of meetings as well as a lot of research to do, and I was staying with a family friend of LP's and so we crossed paths and I had some drinks with friends my last night in town.
But by and large it was a giant me-fest.
Many people won't travel alone. I get that.
I can take a solo trip from time to time. It's fun to have complete control, but it is a test sometimes to get in the moment without a co-pilot. I'm always intrigued about how I respond to my own company and the places I can get to in my head.
I think the largest tradeoff is the total control over your itinerary, versus not having anybody to share your experiences with.
I had five nights in Boston (one I arrived in for at about 11pm, so it doesn't really count) and though it wasn't strictly tourism, it was still a return to a former home of mine. I cherry-picked my schedule, breezily.
On my first evening I reacquainted myself with Harvard Square. I had a beer and a sandwich at Clover for dinner, and followed it up with a stroll through the Harvard Bookstore. On Tuesday I hit up my favourite burrito and ice cream joints. I got caught in a rainstorm on Wednesday and wasn't feeling it at all, so I sulked off to a movie (The Watch... bad, in a slightly good way, but I hadn't dragged anyone to see it with me, so I didn't have to feel bad) and spent a whopping $3.40 eating off McDonald's $1 menu for dinner.
On my last night, I enjoyed an extra drink or two when I was with friends, not having to preserve someone else's schedule.
I spent a day driving through rural Massachusetts and New Hampshire, indulging all of my podcast whims on the stereo, and creating my own playlists to sing along to at eardrum shattering levels, sans all judgment and self-consciousness. It was superb.
But I missed having a buddy around. I particularly missed having LP around.
Late on Sunday night, I walked off the train in Davis Square and the first thing I encountered was a group of local sports-bros making fun of Mexicans in thick local accents. It was deliciously Boston. I knew instinctively from the level of slightly drunken joy in the air for this time on a Sunday evening, that the Red Sox had probably just won. It turns out they had. I enjoyed the moment. But it just wasn't the same explaining this kind of awful but hilarious moment to LP on the phone.
Driving through New Hampshire on Tuesday, I was lost in thought about how New Hampshire is about the weirdest state of America, so beautiful and friendly, but so weirdly, staunchly libertarian (e.g. the state motto is Live Free or Die, motorcycle helmets are not law, lax gun control) with such strange cities.
Swamped in these thoughts, a gigantic gang of elderly motorbikers, all looking as though they were off to audition for ZZ Top, swamped my car.
It was terrifying and awesome. The memory died with me.
The same thing happened when I saw Meat Loaf walking down the street in Boston, and when I found myself depressed and angry at the brand of people who visit casinos in Connecticut at 10am on a Friday (I was there myself for journalistic reasons, of course).
I processed it alone and moved along.
It's different being on your own for new experiences. So much of how we process things is filtered and altered by our companions.
You know when you go to a movie with a group, and you're walking out, and there's that suspenseful moment before you all get out of the cinema and can share your opinions?
The perceptions of the group shift the perceptions of the individual. I'm sure of it.
Our travelling partners can amplify joys. We can laugh with them at the awesome ridiculousness of a gigantic biker gang.
But they share our miseries too. It's better to get caught in a rainstorm with a friend and be wet together, than just end up fuming and uncomfortable and alone.
Travelling alone for me is a test to stay in the moment. I find myself at restaurants eating quickly and tearing out the door faster. I visit places, and find it harder to linger. I'm much more likely to be ahead of schedule.
I take a book with me everywhere and end up reading prodigiously.
Invariably after a few days I get bored of myself. I think I get bored of myself a bit more quickly now than I did 10 years ago.
I arrived in New York late on Friday night. Jon, a dear old friend, is in New York at the same time as I am, and we corresponded to stay at the same hostel.
I wasn't aware of how ready I was for more constant company, but a few minutes after we were reunited, I felt a little relief.
So will you travel alone?
If so, are there any rituals or habits you adhere to when doing so?
Is there anything that surprises you about your own company?
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While I have travelled alone (usually only for business), I prefer company, as mine's not very good. So, I'll try to make friends with staff at the hotels, especially if I'm staying a while. This has some pluses, but can also be awkward if for example they get used to you being around, and forget to serve you dinner, and you have to complain...
There have been a few times when I've been travelling alone and noticed someone else in the same situation, and asked them if they'd like to join me for dinner, or take a stroll together. Beats the two of you sitting there being lonely. How's the saying? "A stranger is only someone you haven't introduced yourself to"? A bit cliched and perhaps twee, but despite being shy, I've usually found it worth the potential embarrassment or rejection (hasn't happened yet!) to try to make (temporary) friends with someone.
Have only travelled by myself once and spent most of the time turning around to talk to my usual travel buddy (twin sister) before realising she wasn't there...probably looked like a total basket case. She is the only person that will travel with my now anyway, everyone else seems far too horrified by our total lack of planning to ever join us on a trip.
I've done a bit of roadtripping by myself, and I enjoy being able to play music as loud as I want in the car. Plus of course I can stop whenever and wherever I want for food too.
But I find the evenings drag out boringly!
I have always travelled with other people, but oddly enough my favourite days tend to be those few where I have been left to my own devices. I am not sure why. I suspect it is context. After four weeks' living out of each others' pockets, there is something very liberating about having some space and freedom to move at my own speed. But I don't think I would be particularly good at travelling for anything more than a few days' on my own. For starters I just don't think I am sociable enough. I am no wall-flower, but I do need friends and loved ones around to gee me on and to help break the ice with new people. Without them around, I suspect I would limit my activities to things where I don't need to interact too much with strangers (so activities like white-water rafting would be out) and instead just wander about looking at the scenery and not interacting too much beyond "one short black and a sandwich please". This is not a bad thing for a day or two (and as noted above, I love it in short doses), but after four days' I reckon I would start talking to myself and going a little stir crazy.
I travel alone constantly and it bites. It's always for work so at least my days are filled even if some of the meetings I need to attend are mind-numbing. The down-time is the killer as I usually bore the crap out of myself. There are occasions when I will meet up with clients or associates socially after business is done for the day but even this palls eventually; same polite small-talk, same food, same drink... Yeah - getting a little jaded...
Back in the good old days, i.e. before children, I wouldn't consider going anywhere without my wife. She is the absolutely the best travelling companion you could ask for. We have been to a lot wonderful places and have some fantastic memories. Enjoyed every single trip - from overnighters to six weeks in Vietnam/Cambodia/Laos. Which makes my travelling now even worse. Travelling alone really sucks.
My two most memorable trips were solo. I met others, tagged along, and did some awesome things that I wouldn't have done with me and a mate. One involved an impromptu long road journey followed by sitting on bags of rice in a helicopter looking out of the bullet holes while flying up a mountain. Pure adventure.
You're probably an extrovert. Personally, I love travelling alone, so long as I'm in my comfort zone (eg English speaking western countries). I'm an introvert so get tired when I'm around people all the time, and when you're travelling with someone you seem to spend literally 24 hrs a day together - even more than you would at home, which I find very tiring. I spent 3 weeks when I was 21 road tripping solo around the North Island (having not seen much of it before) - this was my first solo holiday and I loved every second of it. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted and had nobody to please but myself.
Travelling alone is ok. If you do travel alone it is normally the nights when you feel lonely. When you are eating by yourself. Drinking by yourself can be boring but sometimes especially on a quiet night you can get to chat to the locals.
I spent 7 months travelling around the world by myself... why - no one else to do it with, was fantastic, spent many hours laughing at those travelling with companions as they argued about what they wanted to do or didn't want to do.... yes missed sharing at times, but overall would drop everything and do it again tomorrow.....!
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I love travelling alone, you get to set your own timetable, and do everything you want to do, without being worried about whether your companion is enjoying the experience. I have also found I talk to more people travelling by myself, like an actor on Broadway in a theatre.... or a german couple in a bar.... whereas with a companion I found we were a more isolated pair... it has pros and cons...