The Donald Trump 'crawl of shame'

Bruce and Sue Sullivan of Kitchener's Cafe and Dairy in Martinborough.
JACK BARLOW/ FAIRFAX NZ

Bruce and Sue Sullivan of Kitchener's Cafe and Dairy in Martinborough.

How's summer been?

It's been a little slow, but it'll kick back on once the kids go back to school. It's a classic New Zealand summer: not enough sun. 

Tell me: what do you really think about the tourists?

Oh, they're great. In fact there are still a lot of strange faces in town, which is good for us.

And, for that matter, the Wellingtonians?

Yep, they've been flocking.

Have any famous people come in?

Well, it depends on what you designate as famous. In the last four weeks I've picked up Alex Wylie's signature, I've picked up Glen Osborne's ... obviously the town's got a new knight, Sir Paul Collins. You could call him a celebrity.

I'm sure there are more celebrities coming to town, but, you know, I'm stuck in a kitchen so I don't see them.

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What's the funniest thing that's happened? I'm sure you get some characters come in now and then.

Of course we do. Um ... I'm just trying to think, there's one or two that I don't think I can tell you.

Oh, go on.

Ok. Well, during the US elections I had a friend go to the States, and I told her to bring back anything and everything that had Trump on it. Shirts, socks, the lot.

She brought them back, and just prior to the Donald winning the primaries I went to one of the local bars dressed as him. Some people loved it, others weren't that happy. My reply to them was, "don't you want to make America great again"? 

We put a form up in the shop, saying  "Donald Trump will become America's next president, yes or no". You put your name in whichever pile you thought was going to happen.

At the same time we marked out a track starting in the kitchen, out through the door and around the shop all the way to the front door. There were about 18 on that team that lost, and on the 11th at 11:30 – when the shop was full – they had to start at the fridges and crawl on their hands and knees all the way around the shop saying "I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong".

Everyone had to do the "crawl of shame" by inauguration day.

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