Top 10 Kiwi traveller giveaways

00:18, Jul 01 2013
Kiwi travellers
HUCK A HAKA: Flash-mob hakas in public places are the crowd-stopping way to give the world a clue about your national identity.

We have a distinct way of doing things.

No matter where New Zealanders are in the world, they are not too hard to pick out. Like peering into a darkened enclosure to catch a glimpse of the real flightless bird... you just have to know what to look for.

1. Jandals in the Vatican
Admiring the renaissance architecture in Vatican City can be somewhat disturbed by the "slap, slap, slapping" sound of plastic on marble. What on Earth could be making that sound? Oh, it's a Kiwi in singlet, boardies and jandals. Typical.

2. A suitcase full of Vogel's
Or care packages full of Marmite. Or Pineapple Lumps, or Tim Tams. How the rest of the world has managed without these things, we'll never know.

3. Impromptu Hakas
Quite often the haka can be the most exciting part of a rugby match. When performed overseas it stirs a sense of pride for those there, (or possibly shame, depending on the quality of the performance).

4. Drunk on Waitangi Day
It's pretty much our national day. Give us a break.

5. An abundance of silver ferns
Or New Zealand-shaped logos for that matter - anything by Huffer. Everyone becomes infinitely more patriotic when they leave their own country. Most New Zealanders are particularly proud of their upbringing and display proudly on their being.

6. No accent
The New Zealand accent is really like no other in the world. Even in linguistic terms, the Australian accent bears a closer resemblance to the Brits than ours does. But by the same token, our accent is characterised by a lack of er... accent. In that we don't stress our Rs, or over emphasise our vowels, if anything we stunt them. We occasionally (or often, depending on who you're talking to) swap an I for a U. But mostly, if you're recognising a fellow New Zealander, then their accent is obviously the same as yours (for the most part). 

7. Chattering on the Tube
We have important conversations to carry out and bar-hopping excursions to plan - why should we have to sit in steely silence, like the British commuter, while using public transport? As if using public transport isn't dreary enough!

8. LOTR Fatigue
Goes a little something like this:
Stranger: "Where do you come from?"
Kiwi: "New Zealand."
Stranger: "Ahhhh Lord of the Rings."
Kiwi: "Yup, that..."

9. FOTC Fatigue
Goes a little something like this:
Stranger: "Where do you come from?"
Kiwi: "New Zealand."
Stranger: "Ahhhh Flight of the Conchords."
Kiwi: "Yup, those guys..."

10. (Generally) unwavering politeness
There are exceptions to this rule in every nationality, but New Zealanders are known for a particularly self-deprecating air, which comes across in our low-key approach toward things. We generally aren't the tourists to make a scene, or get angry about service.

What other traits give us away out there in Travelland? Comment below.