Honolulu delivers exactly what you expect of it – a sparkling crescent of colour, kitsch and curling surf.
OPINION: I'm pretending the sausage-like lumps of hell-creature lying on the sandy ocean floor are just inflated lumps of seaweed.
The white sand beaches of Mozambique have more coconut palms than people on them.
"One wave is all it takes to free the funk," mental-health awareness-raising event organiser SJ Cansdale says.
If your idea of a good holiday is lounging in - or on - crystal clear water, look no further.