Rob's rant - Target

I can only imagine how many times the crew of Target have stuffed drawers, cupboards, wardrobes and gym bags full of knickers in the hope of entrapping a curious tradesman.

But finally the mouse took the cheese.

Not only did he take the cheese, it was the equivalent of him making himself a tasting platter, throwing some grapes, pate and pickles on and grabbing a bottle of 20-year-old merlot from the cellar.

When producers watched the hidden camera footage of the carpet cleaner flitting from room to room sniffing panties like a deranged bloodhound, before getting on his knees in front of the computer to praise the pornographic gods, they must've got a little excited themselves. Presenter Carly Flynn made all the right noises about the "appalling breach of trust" and "disgusting behaviour" but there was an unmistakable glimmer in her eye.

The crudeness of the bloke perched there on his knees like a primary school kid at story time was shocking enough and though the pixilation was necessary, it was almost worse to imagine what was going on behind the blur. Credit to the carpet cleaner – who almost certainly dirtied the carpet in the living-room to some degree – he gave the bedroom a quick vacuum and you wondered if he had redeemed himself slightly.

No such luck. Turns out he had another solo game of tug of war left in him. And again, he won. Target's usual format grades different companies on the service they provide but sadly there were no marks for this man's handy work. Instead the police and eventually a district court judge will make their minds up about his performance.

The more normal segment of the show looked at the pitfalls of franchise ownership and was actually quite interesting.

But nothing is going to beat a man caught with his pants down.

What: Target

Where: TV3

When: 7.30pm Tuesdays

Waikato Times