OPINION: The whites are taking flight again, and now they have a brand new school in Rototuna to flee to, writes Joshua Drummond.

OPINION: Dickheads celebrate special day Dickheads all over New Zealand celebrated Waitangi Day in their own special way.

OPINION: Last week I decided to become an anti-fluoride lobbyist.

Hey, you all right there? Sorry to disturb you, I just thought . . .

OPINION: Joshua Drummond peeks into the future to see what Hamilton will be like in the year 2040.

I'm the sort of person who realises, with utter certainty, that what might appear - to the untrained eye - to be the onset of the common cold is actually meningitis.

OPINION: Oh, America. America. What fools these Americans be.

It was a dark and stormy night, and two young public relations people were working late on a difficult problem.

Here is my take on how I imagine it is behind the scenes at the Hamilton City Council.

OPINION: Hello, Waikato Times' readers! It's your bro, your pal, your buddy, the "Big Tobacco Lobbyist". How are you? You're good? Agree/Disagree?

When Mary wakes up her hubby Doug has already left for work. He works long hours. She's proud of him.

Television is awful, and of all the terrible things on telly, the absolute worst has to be Question Time on Parliament TV.

As if being possessed by demons wasn't enough, he's also a member of ACT.

OPINION: It sounds like something only some demented satirist could invent, but it's something that the real Colin Craig actually said.

It's been another one of those weeks where I'm glad to live in New Zealand.

That Fifty Shades of Grey novel sure is getting a lot of attention, isn't it?

When Science was invented by L Ron Hubbard in 1952, its founder intended that "what Science has put together, let no man rend asunder".

The climate scientist looked at me with eyes as grey as an overcast day.

A columnist's job, I am reliably informed by the trustworthy, anonymous hordes in the comments sections of news websites, is to provide informed and intelligent commentary on the news.

Of all the strange jobs I’ve had, being a telephone pollster rates as the absolute worst.