A helping hand from home

NIGEL YALDEN
Last updated 05:00 08/03/2014

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Chiefs

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''Have you written your column for the Waikato Times?'' my wife asks.

''Not yet,'' is my reply.

It was the standard start of the standard Thursday night conversation in the Yalden living room.

''Do you know what you're going to write about?''

''Nah.''

''What are you thinking about doing?''

''Don't know, babe, don't really have an opinion on anything this week.''

''Really?''

''Yeah... kinda tired and just don't have the energy to have an opinion.''

''Whatever, you plonker.''

''I'm serious; I don't have an opinin on anything.''

''Write about the Chiefs, they've won their first two games of the season or what about the Crusaders losing their first two?''

''Been covered pretty comprehensively after the weekend; anyway it's only two games of a 16-game regular reason.''

''Hey, didn't you pick the Crusaders to win Super Rugby this year?''

''Hey, thanks for reminding me honey, you're the first person in the last hour and half to do so.''

''Here to help.''

"Try harder.''

''Write about the opening round of the V8 Supercars and that young guy who swore when he finished second.''

''I wrote about the V8s last week ... thanks for reading my piece ... not.''

''Have you thought about doing something on the Ukraine and Russia thing?''

''Ah, that's a political, military-type situation; something we can both agree is not exactly my strong suit.''

''Yeah, but isn't that former heavyweight boxer involved?  You know the one that gave up his title to concentrate on his political career.''

At this point I would like to take a brief break from the recounting of this conversation to tell you how immensely proud (and a little bit surprised) I was to hear my wife put this particular suggestion forward, giving that her interest in sport pales in comparison to... well ... everything else.

''Great idea babe, but not my bag and I don't know enough to have an opinion about it anyway.''

''You're not exactly getting very far are you?''

''No.''

Silence.

''What's the heck is wrong with you?! Last weekend you were ranting like a lunatic about Sir John Kirwan's reappointment and how that Blackadder fellow shouldn't have dropped Israel Dagg and how Dagg should call Lydia Ko up to see if the caddying job was still available and how the restarts in the V8s are a joke and how netball's turned into MMA and what a doofus Ricky Stewart is and ...''

''Yeah, yeah, I get the point.''

Silence.

''Want a cup of tea?''

''That would be nice.''

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- Waikato Times

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