Hobbiton glows on Hobbit Day as guests celebrate the Baggins' birthday
SATIRE: As the first rays of sunlight warmed the pastures of Middle Earth, Bilbo Baggins opened his eyes and stretched out in his creaky wooden bed.
He rolled over and stuffed his long hairy feet into a pair of fluffy sheepskin slippers that sat perfectly next to his bed.
He had purchased them at the market before the winter because they were made with the finest wool Middle Earth had seen - that of the Matamata sheep who often visited the Shire and sometimes even woke him up if they were munching grass near The Hill.
Today was a very different day for Baggins. Yet everything remained the same. He put the kettle on to make himself a tea, just as the phone rang from Stuff, to wish him a Happy Birthday and ask what he and Frodo planned to do for their shared birthdays.
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"Sorry," he yelled down the phone. "I don't want any adventures, thank you. Not today. Good morning! But please come to tea – any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Good bye!"
But adventures to mark the 80th birthday of The Hobbit were already planned.
Hobbiton - the Matamata home of the movie sets of the JRR Tolkien movies - was preparing a dinner for more than 200 guests.
They would take a guided tour of the Shire at dusk (and visit the 12-acre Hobbiton set) while the sun set over the Matamata countryside.
Already that morning, 20 instagram 'social media influencers' had watched the sunrise over Hobbiton.
Baggins was shocked such a plan was made without him knowing. He despised surprises and wasn't up for any sort of excitement.
"Bother burgling and everything to do with it! I wish I was at home in my nice hole by the fire, with the kettle just beginning to sing," he shouted down the phone.
New to this year's event was The Marketplace where hobbits (Hobbiton staff) sold New Zealand cheeses, artisan breads, cured meats, smoked fish, and fresh produce from the Hobbiton gardens.
Later that evening there would be drinks at The Green Dragon.
Hobbiton marketing manager Shayne Forrest said even the grouchiest Hobbit wouldn't resist such a party - there was even a fiddler playing.
"I think (Bilbo Baggins) would think it was fantastic," he said.
"Hobbits like good food, plenty to drink and good company and we're ticking all of those boxes - they would be happy to join us I reckon."
Baggins said he would make a speech if he was asked but it wouldn't be a very pleasant speech at all.
He said he would stand up and say something along the likes of: "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
Guests would also be given an authentic handheld lantern to light their way back to the Shire.
"Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones," Baggins added.
This is the second year that Hobbiton Tours has officially celebrated International Hobbit Day.
The Hobbit was first published on September 21 1937 - UK time - having begun life as a tale told by Tolkien to his three sons with the famous opening line "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit". According to the books, September 22 was both Bilbo and Frodo's birthday, while this year also marks 100 years since Tolkien's first published writing.
This year's Hobbit Day festivities were sold out months ago, and next year's is expected to double. Forrest said they were planning an event for 400 to 500 fans.
Frodo Baggins could not be contacted for comment.
Stuff