Dino-marathon at Auckland cinema as Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom plays for 24hours
OPINION: They say life finds a way.
So it is that Hoyts Botany Downs cinema in Auckland has done so - and is giving you the chance to watch Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, the latest Jurassic Park movie back-to-back over a 24 hour period tonight from 6pm.
For the price of one ticket, you can numb your bum and see all the screaming, all the dinosaurs, and Toby Jones' dodgy wig for as many times as you'd like - or can comfortably sit through.
The movie clocks in at about 2 hours, so that's 12 showings roughly to get through - or 11 if you allow for fuel stops and pee breaks. (Though if you buy a Jurassic sized tub of popcorn, I'm pretty sure no-one will be in the cinema at 3am when you really need to go - just sayin', not advocating).
READ MORE:
* Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom 'tired and contrived' suggest first reviews
* Sam Neill remembers the fun and fear on the Jurassic Park set
* Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom: The first trailer finally drops
The latest has had mixed reviews at best, and while it does feel like a bridging gap between the last Jurassic World movie and the one coming in 2021 (with Sam Neill in, I'm calling it now), fans of the genre may find their prehistoric itch scratched.
But what else dino-related could you do over the 24 hour period?
Watch the 1993 original 12 times instead
Remember the majesty of the first Spielberg produced one?
The way the cinema shook as the CGI T Rex lumbered on to the screen and roared? The horror of seeing a glass of water shake and realising what that meant? It's still a classic and even Bryce Dallas Howard's character Claire evokes that memory in a long speech in the latest, talking about the first time you saw a dinosaur.
Read the 1990 book
Michael Crichton's seminal 1990 book was a wonder.
400 pages of science mad DNA gone wild mixed with pulpy horror and the need to turn every page, it was compelling and unable to be put down. I reckon with a bit of speed reading, you could get through it twice in the 24 hour period.
Watch Jim Henson's Dinosaurs
You may want to put your sanity aside to delve back into the puppet world of Jim Henson's Dinosaurs.
Looking like cabbage patch dolls that were somehow mutated, the 1991 show was about a family of anthropomorphic dinos just trying to get by. Notable for its catchphrase from the baby of the crowd, "I'm the baby - gotta love me", this is possibly best watched under the influence. (Or after 3 screenings of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom).
Build your own dinosaur diorama
We all had a dinosaur obsession when we were young - and anyone who says otherwise, is a liar and I'll fight them with my T-Rex arms.
So why not spend 24 hours making dinosaurs from papier mache, pipecleaners, toilet paper and colouring pens? You can create your own Jurassic World and play T-Rexs off against Diplodocus or pit Stegasaurus against Pteradons. (NB - This may just be a chilling insight into my own so, so lonely childhood).
Watch Doctor Who serials - The Sea Devils / Invasion of the Dinosaurs / Dinosaurs on a Spaceship
The time traveller from Gallifrey with two hearts has had several encounters with dinos, and some of them have been less than effective in the CGI department.
The Sea Devils and Invasion Of The Dinosaurs come from the crazy 1970s and feature some of the most laughable dinosaurs committed to screen - and Jon Pertwee's Doctor trying not to giggle. 2012's Dinosaurs on a Spaceship sees Matt Smith's Doctor facing off against the baddies and even had Peep Show stars Mitchell and Webb voicing robots. Albeit badly.
Watch One Million Years BC - 16 times
All I have to say about this is Raquel Welch. In a fur bikini.
Iconic at best, poorly executed at worst, this 1966 classic saw humans and dinos living side-by-side. It's probably best you don't think about how that could happen, and just relax into the lunatic rhythms of the movie. It's a classic, and Ray Harryhausen's animated creatures stand the test of time - if you forget CGI was ever invented and stop-motion ruled the world.
If none of those take your fancy, and you're genuinely committed to the marathon, best of luck.
I'd recommend putting your brain in neutral and accepting the snoozes that will hit you in waves. And make sure you stay hydrated, take lots of loo breaks - and watch out for that dino behind you.
At least you don't have to put up with Jeff Goldblum semi-shirtless this time around.....it seems the studio couldn't find a way to shoehorn it in.
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