Survivor's Shayna stopped watching the show
"Shady" Shayna Tapusoa admits she played ruthlessly, but says the nastiness on Survivor became so bad she stopped watching.
Tapusoa said she kept track of the show until her ally, Matai'a Salatielu Tiatia got voted off.
"I stopped watching it after that. It was really just mentally draining and well, I already knew what was happening," she said.
Although Tiatia's departure was a blow to Tapusoa's strategy, she said the tears and anger were for Tiatia.
"He was the heart of the game, so as soon as he got taken out, it just felt very ruthless and really cold like a real rough place to be, more so than usual with him gone," Tapusoa said on Monday, a day after the nation saw her exit the game.
"I think a lot of people might have switched the TV off when he left. I don't think I'm alone it that," she added.
Tapusoa lasted for more than four weeks playing Survivor. They had no contact with the outside world and ate barely anything. From the sounds of it, the contestants started to lose grip of reality. Tapusoa said when people left the game, it felt like a friend had died.
"You literally feel like someone's going to die when they leave the island. Then it's like, actually, he's going to a resort to binge eat," she recalled.
When Tiatia left, she was in tears. "I bawled my eyes out. Did the ugly cry on national TV," she said the feeling of loss was why. Despite now knowing it was all part of a game, Tapusoa said she couldn't bear to watch the show. She said she didn't want to see the other players explain their reasoning.
"I just didn't want to go back to that mind space, where you feel betrayed and you feel like you've got all these mixed emotions. You're angry, it was crazy," she said.
As they arrived back at camp on the night Tiatia was voted off, Tapusoa said she and her last ally Avi Duckor-Jones (who later voted against her), were grieving.
She was grieving and angry, and admitted she wanted to get revenge.
"Avi was still upset by that. I just kept my mouth shut, like 'can't change anything, he's gone' kind of thing.
"And so, I was sitting at the fire and then said to Avi: 'Avi, let's destroy this camp!'. I was like, 'let's go and rip apart the fishing nets and destroy the food!'."
But, according to Tapusoa, Duckor-Jones wouldn't let her do it.
"He was just like, 'mmmm'. So, in my mind I was thinking, 'too far? Maybe, too far. OK. OK let's not, let's just sit here and cry'."