Five ways to avoid Game Of Thrones spoilers
OPINION: So it has happened again: A brand new episode of Game Of Thrones has leaked five days before it's due to air.
Leaks send fans of George R R Martin's epic and the HBO show into a major quandary - do you view the show and avoid being spoiled or do you live your life on a razor's edge, desperately on the run from spoilers, for those 5 days before it airs?
Technically speaking, this leak has come from HBO itself, and not hackers - so would you really need to feel guilty about watching the leaked episode? I can't help but wondering if this is a bizarre guerrilla marketing campaign by the studio, given the show's ratings for the leaked episodes have been higher than ever.
But if you're the stalwart Job Snow type, you're probably more interested in avoiding leaks anr your mate telling you that Jon Snow (REDACTED) or Tyrion (REDACTED EVEN MORE)
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There was once a time when railing against spoilers for Game Of Thrones was pointless - it came from a book published back in 1996, so a 20 year delay and a moratorium on spoilers seemed fair enough - but that is not this day. So here are five top tips to avoid Game Of Thrones spoilers:
1. If you can't bear to be without the internet, then of course you can use the Mute words facility on your feeds.
Though perhaps that's problematic if you're not really sure what you should be muting. Maybe do some research in Google under Game Of Thrones spoilers to see what they suggest.
(NB This may not work)
2) If you are too weak to deprive yourself of the internet for a few days until it comes on TV, maybe you can get together with your office chums and decide on a colour clothing system to help work out who's seen what in the latest season.
Organise a group (after all that's what "Reply all" is for on email, right?) and work out a technique that means you can wear either a bit of coloured cloth or a whole outfit that indicates whether you've seen the latest episode or not. Maybe with the episode number on as well to be doubly clear.
An added bonus to this means you can work out who illegally streams in your office and run them out, shouting "Shame".
3) Threaten to fine people who spoil the show.
New South Wales Police have brought in a system with new penalty enforcement notices from each day the episode drops.
NSW Police Force introduce new penalty notice which will be enforceable from 11am today #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/82nlOWwxNk
— NSW Police (@nswpolice) July 17, 2017
It's a whopping $250 Aussie dollars, and I'm not sure legally how it is enforceable, but that said, it's a bloody good idea and can probably be extended out to other shows for bonus cash-making opportunities.
4) Just don't talk to anyone until you've viewed the episode.
The X Files taught me to trust no-one, and it's a policy I've readily employed in daily life.
It works well in the office as well - simply put headphones on or strap earbuds in and pretend you're listening to stuff all day. As a bonus, decline all meetings and block out your office diary until the actual anointed viewing time.
That way you are in control of your own destiny.
5) Don't leave the house.
Ever.
At the end of the day, everyone is a potential perpetrator of spoilers.
From that bloke who serves you coffee with a smile, to the innocent female jogger who's mysteriously running quickly towards you on the daily commute.
Best you maybe book weeks of leave specific to the days when your show airs, stay home, lock your mobile phone and computer in a time-lock safe for that day, and gently rock quietly in a corner until the show's airing and you can watch. Better still, put a bag over your head - with breathing holes in as well. You know, just in case your mates learn of your extreme paranoia and charter a plane to fly by with a banner on saying "Dany was killed by a dragon in a shocking twist."
What is your best tip for avoiding spoilers for shows like Game Of Thrones? How did you avoid it in this internet age?
(Please note - anyone who posts spoilers in the comments for this week's leaked Game of Thrones episode will be singled out for retribution - this is the internet after all.)
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