Should the man still be expected to pay on dates?
Q: I'm seeing this gentleman who said he enjoys the arts. We've gone to a few performances together and always enjoyed ourselves.
The last time, though, I offered to get the tickets, but when I asked if he was going reimburse me, he only gave me the money for his ticket. He said he didn't have any more cash, and when I asked him about it later, we got into an argument about it.
I got the feeling that he thinks that I should pay my own way. I think a man who asks out a lady such as myself should pay. What do you think?
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Steve: Traditionally, this was known as a cheap bastard. But times change, and if a woman insists on paying, that's fine. But if she expects the boyfriend to pay, he ought to do it. And while he's thinking about it, he ought to realise that women are not paid equally to men.
Mia: Dating is for getting to know people and seeing if you're a match. If the fact that he asks you out and also expects you to pay is an issue, then you are not a match. You have to move on.
If you don't mind paying, then you can continue dating him. The choice really is simple.
Q: I'm trying to break up with my boyfriend, but it's hard! He's also my best friend. We spend a lot of time together. I still stay over. We're friends. But that's it. I'm clear about that. But how do I make myself move on?
Mia: Stop sleeping over. Even if it's platonic, just don't do it. It sends mixed signals and just postpones the inevitable. To speed things up, you might even take a break from each other.
Don't call. Don't text. Don't hang out. Develop new friends and interests. Give each other time to move on romantically. Then, maybe you can work on being friends again. But I'm going to warn you: It won't be easy.
Steve: Pretty easy, really. You break up with him as friendly as possible.
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.