Dancing with the cars - what's the car equivalent of each DWTS NZ celeb?

DWTS judges. But we'll pick the cars, thanks.
SUPPLIED
DWTS judges. But we'll pick the cars, thanks.

Ever since the 2018 series of Dancing with the Stars kicked off, Stuff Motoring has been flooded with correspondence asking the same thing: if DWTS celebrities were cars... what kinds of cars would they be?

We can't tell how you many letters and emails we've had because we're really too busy to count them.

But it's a lot. Honest. This is a big issue.

The whole DWTS ethos is revealing hidden dancing talent in those who are known for very much non-dancing things.

So, in matching these contestants with their cars, we've chosen vehicles that seem on the outside to be good at one type of thing, but also have hidden talent when you get them out on the road and around some tricky turns. We also reckon the character of each of our cars is a pretty good fit for our chosen dancer/drivers.

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DWTS voting change pre-planned

So let's go.

(Frankly, we're amazed nobody has thought to do this before.)

Roger Farrelly: Volkswagen Polo Beats

Roger Farrelly and the compact but very loud Volkswagen Polo Beats.
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Roger Farrelly and the compact but very loud Volkswagen Polo Beats.

Roger is a radio veteran and has been a mainstay of The Rock's Morning Rumble for nearly a quarter of century. He's a man with some heritage behind him then, whose diminutive proportions are no impedient to making a big noise.

That's why we've paired him with the Volkswagen Polo Beats.

It's a modern classic (launched in 1975) and the latest version combines compact dimensions with brilliantly charismatic driving qualities and some genuine window-thumping noise, thanks to the 300W audio system that comes standard with this model. It also has a great stability control system, reducing the danger of slipping when you're really moving along.

Sam Hayes: Mercedes-AMG GLC 63 S

Sam Hayes and the very fashionable, very clever Mercedes-AMG CLG 63 S.
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Sam Hayes and the very fashionable, very clever Mercedes-AMG CLG 63 S.

Sam combines glamour with intellectual substance in her role as co-anchor for Three's Newshub Live at 6.

We also know for sure she's a talented driver because she nearly beat Stuff Motoring reporter Damien O'Carroll in a celebrity ice-driving competition last year. (O'Carroll's presence did call the "celebrity" status of that event into question, but we digress.)

The Mercedes-AMG GLC 63 S is a very "now" premium SUV, but also headline-grabbing rapid - one of the fastest SUVs in the world, in fact.

It's also incredibly clever, with a nine-speed gearbox and intelligent all-wheel drive system that continuously varies the front-to-rear torque split.

Chris Harris: Suzuki Swift Sport

Chris Harris and the light, fantastic Suzuki Swift Sport.
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Chris Harris and the light, fantastic Suzuki Swift Sport.

Former Black Cap Chris Harris has always combined strong sporting character with a touch of nimble delicacy. After all, he did a term of tap-class as a child.

Like Chris, the Suzuki Swift Sport is light on its feet (just light actually, at around a tonne) and hides serious sporting intent behind that non-threatening outward appearance.

It's one of very few small cars where the "Sport" badge can be taken seriously.

Jess Quinn: BMW i3s

Jess Quinn and the groundbreaking, pure-electric BMW i3s.
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Jess Quinn and the groundbreaking, pure-electric BMW i3s.

Jess is all about inspiration and challenging convention.

As a social media influencer, she's also at home in the digital world.

That's the BMW i3s then. The German maker's revolutionary i3 electric vehicle is a groundbreaker in almost every way. In sporty new "s" form it also really charges along when you want it to.

Shavaughn Ruakere: Skoda Superb SportLine

Shavaughn Ruakere and the so-far-from uncool Skoda Superb SportLine.
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Shavaughn Ruakere and the so-far-from uncool Skoda Superb SportLine.

​Shavaughn has been a familiar face on Kiwi television since she appeared on What Now? at the age of 18. With acting roles in Shortland Street and Sione's Wedding, she combines everyperson appeal with high-energy delivery.

Kids shows, homegrown soaps... it would seem Shavaughn can make potentially uncool things quite, well, cool. Sounds like Skoda. The Superb is one of our favourite mainstream cars, with the potential to be most things to most people. But in sharpened-up SportLine guise, it's also packed full of visual and dynamic character.

David Seymour: Toyota Camry V6

David Seymour and the surprisingly likeable, slightly clumsy Toyota Camry V6.
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David Seymour and the surprisingly likeable, slightly clumsy Toyota Camry V6.

The ACT Party leader is actually a bit of a car guy, having built a Lotus sports car replica at home.

But that hasn't stopped us pairing him up with the Toyota Camry, which has always been a bit dorky but has aspirations towards character and greatness in its new V6-engined guise. Like David, the latest Camry can look pretty sharp when it's cleaned up.

And you do really want to like it, right?

It seems a lot less dull than it used to be and there's a decent turn of speed, but it does also have ideas above its station - show it tricky conditions and it has the potential to turn into a bit of a wobbly mess in front of the public, leading you to question why it's there in the first place. And why it shoved another model out of the line up, upsetting all and sundry. 

The Camry we mean.

Have we got it right? Tell us in the comments!

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