OPINION: There is no such thing as right or wrong in language - but there is definitely good and bad.
OPINION: My one criterion was whether, when I heard a certain phrase, I found my fingers reaching for the speaker's carotid artery.
OPINION: I must have had the nicest pair of goats in the history of goatkind, or whoever coined the phrase knew nothing of the species.
OPINION: People who are forever telling me that the English language is in decline. It isn't.
OPINION: I was going to write about the election, but then I went to the supermarket and a worker asked me a question.
OPINION: The job seems to have won. I, Barack Obama, have become my office.
OPINION: Nothing like rubber-necking at a fancy car in a prang to almost create a second crash.
OPINION: When on a plane coming in to land, I hold my book a little higher so I can be seen by those who've had to switch off their electric books.
OPINION: If the Middle East doesn't watch out we'll give up on them. We really will.
OPINION: Children make top customers with their lack of critical judgment, trust in adults and slavery to appetites.
OPINION: Ah men. Ah women. Ah love. It does such damage. Here's the story of a friend.
OPINION: Two million is the new "one" when it comes to buying a house in the suburb of Money.
OPINION: A recent weight gain has meant I've rediscovered an old flame of my youth - track pants.
OPINION: When I taught English, no-one wanted to know what I thought about it. Now that I don't, they sometimes do.
The current Brazilian team is short on Brazilianness. Its only artist is Neymar and he's just broken his back. The rest of the team is playing earnest Protestant football.
OPINION: We'd taken a wrong turn - and a wrong turn's always the right thing to do.
OPINION: Travelling is difficult - exponentially more so when you're foreign. And London's Victoria Station is full of foreigners.
OPINION: Welcome to the Fifa 2014 World Cup, with football being but a mere sideshow to big money.
OPINION: An albeit dangerous bike ride down Dyers Pass Rd made me feel like an 8-year-old again.
OPINION: There is now more computing power in your cellphone than there was in Apollo 11.